Dutchism (formerly: philosophy by me)

Take 2

2011-12-24T22:57:00.013+01:00

It sort of bothers me that I hadn't heard of the Bradley Manning issue before, especially since it has been going for over a year and a half. Especially since this was beginning shortly before I stopped following the news as of the last national election we've had here, back in June 2010. Having thought things over more, I'd like to go a little more in-depth on the subject.

Looking around me, the people over here seem ignorant about this issue, perhaps the story didn't quite make it to the Dutch version of 'news'; perhaps we don't care enough. Which latter strikes me as odd, as we are supposed to be a compassionate bunch over here in Europe, all 'up in arms' over civil rights... and stuff. But I guess that is a strongly romanticized image of Europeans. Mainly I think we - and by that I mean the larger portion of us - are chronically fed-up with big issues and have sort of rusted into place with preferring comfortably numb over anything unfortunate going in the world. See popular Dutch television for evidence.

Whistleblowers are good people. In fact, I'd say 'blowing a whistle' (no pun intended) is one of the best ways of proving you're one of the good guys. But being of the good persuasion seems risky as of late. Besides that, it seems a waste of time, since the actual big bad boys are, as they say, too big to fail. Meaning they're either a big American corporation or the American government. Why hasn't anyone been prosecuted over any of the wars the Imperialistic USA has been waging over time? This brings me to the question what human rights, civil rights and conventions on war and protection of the innocent are worth; when they either 'don't apply' are changed or simply ignored when they become inconvenient for a superpower, be that a nation, a corporation or the Catholic Church. International law has failed. If it ever had a point.

I can very well understand how people under constant frustration of not just talking to a wall about these issues, but talking to an enormous re-enforced concrete perimeter wall with razorwire and trigger happy guards patrolling on top indirectly paid for by themselves; lead to civil unrest and, perhaps in the near future, civil war. It is the only way out people see and use, and rightly so I'd say, in getting some real Change going; as the powers that be are too dependant on too many corporations and other powerful groups - too tangled up in interests with power, that they're too afraid to do anything that might change the country. People in government need to stop aiming for more power and wealth, and start aiming for what people in the government are supposed to aim for: improving things for the populace.

Anyone can see there is nothing morally wrong with the actions of Bradley Manning, at least concerning the Leaking. So why isn't there more of this issue in the news? Where are the supporters over here? I sincerely hope this changes soon and things drastically improve for Bradley.

Personally my greater passion comes from a kind of recognition, kinship if you will. It's like when I provided a First Aid presence at a cremation of someone I didn't know, but whose eulogy really struck me because of the many similarities we shared. This Bradley is my kind of guy. He's gay, one of the boys; he's intelligent, though I suspect of a different kind than I possess; he's 24, just half a year older than me; overly passionate, altruistic and ideological; he's blond (what can I say...); he's a man and he's white. To be honest I wouldn't care as much (though I don't think much less) if he were a straight black woman in her 40's, which, put in the light of common social conventions, is rather racist, sexist and discriminatory in many other ways - of me. But I think it's perfectly natural to feel this kinship and automatically be more passionate about injustice towards Bradley, so I'm not troubled. This also reminds me of that blond ex-gay survivor of three posts ago.

Concerning governments and information, I've said something about that in the last post, but I'd like to go into it just a little more. Information is one of the most precious things we as a species possess and pass on to future generations, and perhaps species of Man, if we don't kill everyone before evolution takes us to a significantly different new species (and if that is still possible with all our advances in medicine and psychology). Restricting the sharing, or flow, of that information, or even censuring, hiding or destroying it; all seem an indescribably terrible sin. The loss of the Great Library in old-time Alexandria, was a loss of incredible size, even though we can only guess as to what its complete catalogue was. That we, people, create structures of power to govern us, doesn't in any way grant those constructions the sole right to the collected information of our species. The purpose of government is clear, and it is clearly violated - either by becoming a secondary priority over individual pursuits or group-efforts for power and wealth; or completely ignored by governments that are actually detrimental to the well-being of their people. Or both. What is even more stunning is how the governments of the world seem in constant struggle to keep as much information as possible secret about how they spend money and resources and what they're up to exactly, from the very people who mandated them and provide them with the means to act upon their awarded power.

People should be able to move freely out of countries and into others. I think we'd all move to Norway or some other Scandinavian country. Or we'd take over a more gentle-climate country with a bunch of freethinking good people by matching the original population in numbers. Wouldn't it be great if we could just rearrange this planet's countries? Just take all different constitutions, government forms and kinds of economy, put them on a row and let people over 18 see which they would feel most comfortable with. Then assign stretches of the planet according to the size of the supporting group and let them choose which place they want on the map, giving the largest group the first pick and so on. I think we'd solve a lot of problems, if only something like that were possible...

Concerning the trial Bradley is in, from what I've read in the reports of his pre-trial and what other information drifts around on the Internet, I think it is obvious he was showing signs of severe mental health problems, his superiors did know about that but failed to act in time; and that basically created the situation in which Bradley was 'allowed' to leak the said information. If it can be proven he actually leaked it, since all I've seen so far as actual evidence is a chat log in which nothing more but a suggestion to leaking is made. Concerning the treatment of Bradley, I'm not sure military courts in the US recognize civil rights, but how is it possible to detain someone for over 10 months in atrocious conditions without trial? And how is that not a violation of due process and habeas corpus? It's a good thing the UN are 'investigating', for what that's worth; and Amnesty International has condemned the imprisonment. I'd almost start giving them money again. A troubled soul, a good man, who did the best he could, under the circumstances he was in. I don't see how any judge could rule that he was at fault and should be punished, and call that justice. But as I've said in the previous post, law isn't the same thing as justice. Though I think, and I think all justice professionals should think; that when laws do not reflect or obstruct actual justice, the laws are wrong and should be changed.

Perhaps it is not possible to make that happen directly in a trial where such problems are recognized. But it seems that in itself is a fault as well: how many people have been tried for a crime that turned out not to be a crime, before the legislature corrected the error? Crime should not be a cultural matter, when bodies of government punish someone, they'd better do it on solid grounds, and that means objective morality (or 'moral realism'). Especially when there is a significant portion of the public demanding it.

I recommend this article. > link <
And this one. > link <

Merry Christmas by the way.

In other news, I didn't actually get a diagnosis last Thursday, more like a temporary one they weren't quite sure of yet. I'm not depressed, because I still enjoy many things, and their bet is on Asperger syndrome. Not sure what to think about that, I have an abstract idea on what that means, but they assured me the next meeting will probably clear that up. The 'temporary diagnosis' is, as I understand it, based on my intelligence, problems with social conventions, problems with showing my emotions, constructs in dealing with problems and how I am sometimes misunderstood by others. She assured me Albert Einstein probably had Asperger, I was charmed. At least I don't think there is medication for it, so they'll just help me cope with it through good old therapy. Let's hope it is any good.

She asked me (twice) how I felt about hearing all that. Incidentally, my friend the partner of the preacher, asked me the same question - how I felt about going to hear the diagnosis. Rational as I am I think the diagnosis is a good thing, I see it as a small victory and a clear step in approaching permanent improvement. Also, this whole ordeal has been uplifting just by constantly reminding me I am taking control over the situation by seeking this help - which will probably make things better for me.

Freedom of information

2011-12-21T21:27:00.008+01:00

Last week I was staying with friends, the gay preacher and his partner, for no particular reason other than that we enjoy each other's company. I stayed the night as usual and opened up a newspaper in the morning. They have a great newspaper. In it was the usual dreaded awfulness of the world, but something caught my attention. It was the story of Bradley Manning, the military analyst who 'leaked' information and is to be tried for that. It wasn't a long story, just a small column, but there is so much wrong with this issue it still hasn't quite settled in me. Of course the fact that he's an educated blond gay man in his early twenties plays a part in that, but on a not-so sexually motivated level I'd also like to vent a few problems.

First of all, why is there so little transparency in government organizations, or any organization for that matter? How can a government have secrets, apart from personal information and military tactical information? It seems rather dangerous to me and a clear sign of something horribly wrong with a government, when information that is not of a directly personal or military tactical nature. I mean, obviously you don't want the enemy to know your next move or what exactly the type of weaponry you have is; and of course organizations should handle personal information with the appropriate care. But what else is there to hide other than something that is malevolent or at least corrupt? If anything, people exposing information that is not in the earlier mentioned two categories, should be lauded and protected - constitutionally.

Then there is the manner of his imprisonment, which I'm really not willing to say anything more about than to label it as repulsive.

And president Obama. Well, he's turning out to be quite the antichrist, so to speak. Condemning Bradley Manning before any trial and such with the poor argument that "this is a nation of laws ... and he broke the law". Law and justice are two separate things, and one would think a president ought to know better than to make a claim as to someone's guilt or innocence before any hearing. Whatever happened to taking "the moral highground" when committing to closing Guantanamo Bay? And whatever happened to that last plan?

Military courts. What is the point!? All I see is another way for the established powers to control people and work their way around civil rights.

A tragic display of what dysfunctional government systems can bring about. Disregard and downright violation of human rights, parading the unfortunate case to frighten the populace and sheer brutality and injustice. Meh, who cares about human rights anyway? It's a damn shame we're such slow learners...

I hope public pressure will sway this in a less wrong direction and Manning will one day be free to be celebrated as a hero, like that other gay fore-fighter of human rights, Choi. If not directly after the trial, at least within a few years. One can only hope, since I am in no position to take over command from the 'commander in chief'.

In this age of information restriction, with this deplorable trial, Wikileaks, SOPA and more of those 'for your protection' acts of government which do nothing but destroy freedom; I guess it is heart-warming to see a movement going against this trend of inhibition and regressing human rights. And of course there are going to be mistakes in this disorganized movement, but that is to be expected. After all, the people haven't got that much experience in the world of convincing large masses of people on a subject. It's a bit like the secular movement in that respect. I think we need just a few more catalysts to really get this ball rolling, in a very unhealthy but nonetheless productive way. I can see very well how we will eventually have to resort to the dirty tactics used by governments, corporations and religions; or simply to violence.

I know on which side I'll be. But this isn't helping my depression*.

Good luck America, and please don't let the (civilized) world end in '20 12'.

Someone should go all 'V for Vendetta' on the bastards...

http://www.facebook.com/savebradley
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/dec/01/us-leaks-bradley-manning-logs
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/wikileaks/bradley-manning/slideshow-manning-family/
http://www.bradleymanning.org/

* assuming that will actually be the professional diagnosis I'll be getting tomorrow.

Christopher Hitchens

2011-12-16T13:51:00.004+01:00

As you all probably know by now, the great author and atheist intellectual, Christopher Hitchens, has died as a result of esophageal cancer (a particularly nasty form of cancer). As one of the handful of people I really admire, I find this particularly saddening. The intellectual light of this man has made me respect and love him more than I do many members of my own family, or many friends for that matter. A terrible loss. TJ sums it up nicely, including the flaws of this man.

And I'd like to leave you with a kind of self-eulogy Hitchens wrote when his voice gave up and he consequently had to cancel a speech.

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/04/hitchens_address_to_american_a.php

Arcomo

2011-10-27T23:18:00.008+02:00

Hey guys! ...and gals (would they wander here...)

I just got back from a SIGMA (medical assistance during disasters) drill, with the ambulance people and professional victims ("Lotus" victims, basically volunteer actors with bloody make-up and specific training). It was loads of fun, things went well and I learned that I need to pay some more attention to where things go in the logistics department (in the second drill we did I kept on searching for stuff). Then again I've always known 'dry', mundane knowledge like where things are, fails to stick in my brain. I'm better at remembering structures, which is what I'm noticing in physiology classes. I have no problems with abstract theories, as long as there is some logic involved, and it is at least slightly interesting.

I've been terribly busy (nothing new), school is taking its toll on the volunteer jobs which made me drop stuff at the Red Cross, the COC and scouting (which is all of them). Not all to my liking, but it's working out. School now has the priority it needs.

And I'm FINALLY getting psychologic help. I was halfway through a 12 week waiting period when someone arranged something for me with a different mental health practice, where the waiting period was two weeks - at the most. I got a letter back within a week and have the intake meeting next week. Now I hope my GP's referral is still good... (it's from march this year) The guy that referred to this new practice said it would be good to also have me screened for disorders outside the depressions, he thinks I might have ADD or Asperger. I guess the PDDNOS I was diagnosed with when I was much younger, might not have been PDDNOS after all.

I'm not into the whole mental health labelling thing. I don't feel like it is a problem, whatever abreviation I might be 'suffering' from. If it doesn't bother me or my surroundings, it's not an illness, for as far as my vision on health, healthcare and disease goes. So we'll see what the shrink thinks about it.

In other news, I've started on this lovely on-line game called Nation States, where the player is the single force behind the government's decisions. Every day, there are decisions to make (frequency can be altered by the player, up to two per day), issues to decide upon, which for the most important part shape the nation. Mine is still pretty young, many decisions are still before me, but it's much to my liking. My population is already among the 10% happiest in the world, or at least on the NS game. Check it out here.

And recently I came across this blog, with the below video in it. I have extremely strong feelings about ex-gay ministries and their reparative therapies, as you may know. Very little works me up more than the hate, even when it is sincerely brought as loving care, of people based on who they love by their nature. It feels worse than racism, it's more like anti-semitism, but still worse. And how governments keep allowing these forms of abuse, even endorsing them, blows my mind. How people can be so grossly stupid about this. It really disgusts me.

Concerning the below video. This got me a little torn. I didn't know whether to jerk off or cry (not that I would actually do either, but so to speak). The guy is perfect, except for his hair-do, but one shower or heavy rains will fix that. And his face was rated the least attractive? I don't agree. He's everything I look for in a guy (from the outside), and he speaks so calmly, I could listen to him all day. Then again his story is so sad. He's been abused by that monster of a man, wasted his time, energy and resources on this futile crusade; and I can't even begin to imagine the mental and social damage this 'reparative therapy' must have caused to him.

Mostly I just want to hug him, mostly.

How to inhabit a planet

2011-08-11T15:45:00.006+02:00

The world's nations are screwing up this planet royally, and I'd like to comment on that in a few key points.

First of all, we can blame our origins for all those little 'sovereign' countries covering almost all of our planet's solid surface. This is unfortunate because it creates differences between countries in the way they are run and they way they treat the world. Being sovereign means they don't have to abide global rules, especially since global rules don't really exist. Yet. It would be much better to arrange a cadre (frame) within which governments get sovereignty. That cadre would present governments with boundaries, but that's too negative a word, so let's call them parameters or base-rules. Such would concern mandatory issues like: environmental impact and control, protection of endangered species, human rights, government and business transparency, animal cruelty control, international economy rules, population control, and international law (enforcement). The less governments there are, the less there is to quibble about in the international playing field. There would be less variables making international relations easier to manage - if management is even possible at this time. A cadre would be even better, but that only works if everyone joins in and sends someone reasonable to discuss the parameters with. Or it needs to be forced upon non-compliant governments, but that is not preferred.

Besides there being many nations with very differing ideas on matters, the governments of most countries are not helping. All governments seem to favour one part of the population and grudgingly agree to throw the rest a bone. They tend to be inefficient, bureaucratic and corrupt. And what is this nonsense about parties? It's almost like a game for power, swaying voters with populistic campaigning and dragging opponents through the dirt, instead of acknowledging the purpose of government which is to manage the country. Parties are looking too much at themselves and how they should be getting more power, instead of working with the other parties towards a better tomorrow. It would be much better if, in democracies, the parties would accept whatever percentage of the voters gave them their blessing and take that up with the other parties to work together taking in all of the people's wishes. It doesn't work to just have a few 'victorious' parties who then rule for four years fucking up the place for everyone who didn't agree with their ideas and ignoring all they stand for. Governments coming from party elections should by definition be omnipartisan (< new word).

There are many politicians I want to slap in the face, just for being stupid.

And then there is the ignorance of the world, where people are raised to be selfish and stupid about everything. Sadly, I sometimes think, everyone is connected in that we all live on this little planet. It is a strange thing that society has individualized so much that it is frowned upon when one person corrects another he may never have met before in public. That shouldn't be so, since this society I live in, is my society as much as it is the society of everyone else living here. If someone is vandalizing a bus stop, that hurts everyone who will use it in the future as well as costing everyone money as it is public transport and paid for by taxes. And of course this issue is bigger than that. It concerns countries. The sovereignty I talked about earlier is the same. Sovereignty is good, but it shouldn't mean countries get to do whatever they want.

Earth is like a balloon. If someone, a group of people, a company, or even an entire country, is pushing needles into it or otherwise damaging its surface; it shouldn't matter how sovereign they think they are or we as a world deem them to be - we should be able to say something about it and correct their behaviour. This is our world and any damage to it constitutes a response from our side, regardless of who causes the damage.
So I'd like to propose the UN gets on with establishing parameters for the cadre to be enforced by a then created Global Government Initiative. GGI will grow above the UN at which point it will assimilate its mother organization. Having its own military force, GGI will make national armies for international use obsolete. It looks better to take a country down collectively then to have just one or two countries spearhead the cleansing. For the first country to try all those brand new state-of-the-art GGI weapons on, I'd like to suggest Japan, if they don't yield. Those damned fools have been going at their devilish antics for too long already, driving whales and the blue fin tuna to near extinction.

By the way, my pneumonia is sinking away nicely.

laughs (personal update)

2011-07-14T01:26:00.009+02:00

I'm not sure what to do with this part of my life. Blogging used to be my main occupation, but along came the Christian affair, higher education, forums, Facebook and (annual) depressions. Whether this is goodbye, I don't know, yet. Maybe when I finish writing this question has been answered.

As you may remember I am no longer studying to become a teacher of English, though I still have a passion for the English language, continue to excel at it (for as far as my judgement is any good) and will probably always harbour a strong love for teaching; the lack of 'growth options' in education as a profession made me reconsider. Since I started working for the Netherlands Red Cross, the field of Human Health(care) has grasped my attention. So currently I am a student at the Academy of Nursing, becoming a Bachelor of Nursing in four years from now and, as is my intent, in about 10 years from now a Master of Nursing (which I think is the highest possible degree in the field). I've always wanted a title.

Though I am aware that I have to be able to take a distance from the suffering of other people, helping others is what makes me feel happy like nothing else. Come to think of it I feel rather guilty for not giving attention to my blogger buddies... I've learned a lot over the past year, mainly about myself. Turns out I am rather traditional when it comes to relationships and social behaviour, which is a reality-check I got with my first (and so far only) boyfriend earlier this year. It didn't last long, we were too different. But it was fun (and about, damn, time). I want to marry, because it is my right and people fought and still fight for it, but also because it is the 'normal' thing to do. A ring does make a relationship more serious in my experience. Also I don't do outdoor sex, though I don't think I have a problem with public nudity. Funny thing: there was this relatively attractive young guy last Queen's Day here in Groningen, who had sat down on a piece of broken glass. His ass-cheek was bleeding and needed stitching. Since we aren't allowed to stitch wounds, he was sent to the hospital. Sadly, the hospital didn't stitch him up (idiots...) so soon he came back to our (Red Cross) post because he felt blood running down his leg, again. Some woman was messing around planning to wrap his entire waste in a bandage, so I subtly took over. It was a small but deep wound (I could see well into the fatty tissue past the dermus in the gaping wound) which kept on bleeding like a drunk keeps on singing regardless of what happens around him. I neatly bandaged him with a plaster fixation. Afterwards I was amazed at how professional I was with this hot thing lying before me with his pants on his knees.

I digress. Though my traditional side keeps me on the safe side when it concerns things that might be found disturbing or unpleasant by people, there is another side of me which trivializes cultural values. Being rational is not always appreciated. But I think being rational does not entail being rude. Though compromising irrational values (like values based on myths, like religious beliefs) might be considered rude, it is not necessarily rude from an objective point of view. Like when last I replied to a message calling for medics to be present during a performance by some psychic guy who was going to talk to dead people, for money; that I would find serving the community there unethical as I would be supporting the performance of that charlatan and would have found it unpleasant to be there in that I had to restrain my urge to throw bricks at that man's head. Neutrality is an important - if not the most important - ground principle of the Red Cross Movement, but it is one that I struggle with from time to time. That incident was one of those moments. Other examples are people serving under the Red Cross performing Reiki or using homeopathic creams on adults. I mean, homeopathy is great for placebo effects, but it must be recognized as just that. Vaseline will do the same when presented appropriately.

Trivializing cultural values allows me to be rational in my thinking, but it does make me end up with theories and ideas which people might find extreme. I think truth is more important than comfort, quite exactly the way reality is reality, regardless of whether people will like it as it is. Pretending the world doesn't work as it does and isn't what it is, is lying and destructive to the progress of mankind. Great examples are the problem of overpopulation in this world, the idea of eugenics and objective morality. Concerning the latter, I think the educated world knows very well that morality is fundamentally an objective matter. The important things in morality are all determined by rationality, logic. Only subtleties in morality can be subjective. I think there is something as truth, which is why I think objective morality exists. The UDHR, I think, is a reasonable presentation of objective morality. But of course even the UDHR is flawed (as I have pointed out before) as it has been corrupted by irrational minds.

Sadly, though my dark (and getting darker) sense of humour is strong, I can't find everything funny anymore. Though the stupidity in this world supplies us with disasters of comical proportions everyday, it is so much it's not funny anymore. Looking at America, the Christian Broadcasting Network, my hope for a better tomorrow is wavering. We're royally fucking up this planet and our species. Deciding that my purpose in life is giving mankind a push in the right direction and attempting to make the experience of life for my fellow and future man better, sometimes seems a bad one. Humanism is great, really, but that ideology starts to feel just as Utopian as my views on government and economics. I've already begun identifying as a Utopian Socialist, maybe I should change from Secular Humanist to Utopian Humanist as well.

It frightens me that this might not work, in time or at all. The Absurd is lurking.

I largely stopped doing First Aid shifts at the theatre which employs us, because I really began being frustrated with people. Their imperfections sometimes overwhelmed me to the point where my professional attitude became shaky. The *facepalm*s started coming at too high a frequency for me to handle with the decency that is expected of me. Now don't think I am some hick which can't control his emotions. I am very good at keeping frustrations under control, dealing with 'difficult' people and tough social or emotional situations. But in my mind, the irritations do register. Fortunately, I find talking with people, getting this stuff and individual frustrations off my chest, really does help. The problem at the theatre is that my colleagues aren't suitable for such chats, because they are part of the frustration or just lack the social/intellectual level to be a valuable receiving partner.

I'm on Facebook, by the way. Hit me up anytime.

There have been a lot of mutations in my life this past year. I started a new education (Nursing), I became coördinator for the Red Cross Disaster Relief (for a short while), am now administrator; am the president of a new committee on Red Cross' District Level (provincial) called into existence to get the public's First Aid skill up to European standards (or preferably higher); am now the only coördinator for the COC (LGBT rights organization) Education Group; will stop being a scoutmaster this summer (just three more weeks, until Summer Camp is over) and will move on from the Scouts (aged 11-15) to the Explorers (aged 15-18), which will relieve me of all the organizational shit I had on my shoulders this year as all of my colleague leaders left... which was a lot of administration and organizing to handle for just one person. This older group within scouting has seemed troublesome to me in the past, since it was (and still is) an age category in which guys start becoming attractive to me. I used to not want to deal with 'those feelings' but now I figure it's not like I'm going to jump a guy I find very attractive, so there is no need to stay away from such pleasant company.

Not to mention the ex-boyfriend. He is cute, there was a definite "damn, I want that" moment when I first saw him. Sadly our personalities aren't matching. He is too free, still exploring (only out of the closet for a year, though he is a year older than I am), too irrational and not laid back enough for me. He found me too serious, too old-fashioned and too calm. Basically too boring I guess. He wasn't ready to settle yet. Our interests didn't match up either... Well, at least I finally had my first relationship. He is also bisexual, which I thought was problematic at first, but I liked his explanation of "I simply love people". I like how our break-up was mutual (though I felt sad) and not problematic.

The therapy for my depression(s) isn't going as planned. Apparently they thought it took me too long to come up with my physicians referral (which me and my physician didn't think was necessary for a first-line psychologist) so they kicked me out. I'm planning to (and going to) re-apply when school starts after summer. Probably with a different line of psychologists as I had several people tell me my previous one isn't much good, and I got a good referral from one of my female colleagues at the Red Cross (who matches my personality, does the psycho-somatic care after potentially traumatic experiences and happens to be the only other gay person in my department of the Red Cross Disaster Relief). Personally I think what is going on with my mental condition is a little more than (just) an annual winter depression.

Well, at least I try. : )

I really do miss blogging, now that I've gotten to writing another wall of text. But I don't think this will become a trend for me. I guess this will remain not much more than an occasional vent for me. Writing things down must be therapeutic in some way. Having other people read it is an incidental benefit, I guess. And last, for old times sake, some hottie to drool over. This is my most recent favourite: Michael Churchill

Baflo is upset

2011-04-14T12:15:00.004+02:00

Baflo is the larger town next to my old hometown, I used to come there a lot since most important stuff was there and not in the rural village I lived. Yesterday evening the police central got a call reporting domestic abuse in Baflo. Police arrived on the scene and found the lifeless body of a woman, immediately they issued a Burgernet (Civilian-network) call to get all people in the neighbourhood looking out for the suspect. Police found the suspect at the train station, the police tried to take him in but in the struggle the assailant got hold of the police officer's firearm and shot him in the head. A shoot-out was the result, injuring a civilian, another police officer and the assailant. Needless to say the officer who got shot in the head is dead.

This is Groningen, a largely rural area with an easy-tempered city at the heart of it. Nothing ever happens here, except for minor crimes, and robberies. Anti-social behaviour such as this happens, but never escalates to this degree. Murder and especially full-fledged police shoot-outs are extremely uncommon. Regardless to say, the entire community is shocked; thanks to this asshole who seems to have had a fight with his girlfriend, kills her and is too weak to face judgement. I hope he survives his injuries so he can go to court properly.

Also, last saturday, in Alphen aan de Rijn, not so rural but still not evil-big-city-like; a 24-year old decided to start a shooting frenzy in the middle of a shopping mall. He killed seven people, including himself.

And then I last heard my nephew is in jail, my mother's brother's only son. A young kid, he must be about 17, committed armed robbery. Ironically, his father is a police chief and his biological mother works at the police central.

Where does this anti-social behaviour come from?

I suspect our monarch will say something on the Baflo tragedy, as well as she has done on the one in Alphen aan de Rijn. Naturally concerned with her people, she was speechless. I guess this form of comfort and government involvement is one of the functions she still has.

Revision of the UDHR

2011-03-30T23:05:00.005+02:00

To the General Assembly of the United Nations:

For your next amendment of the Universal Declaration for Human Rights, might I suggest the following alterations... (in bold)

Article 16

(1) Men and women Everyone of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.

(2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.

(3) The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.

Article 18

Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance. This right also includes freedom from religion and freedom from indoctrination.

Article 31

(1) Everyone who is not of full age (children), without any discrimination, have the right to protection from forces which limit or obstruct the child's physical, emotional and intellectual growth, including indoctrination, physical punishment, harassment and denial of proper basic education.

(2) All children, without exception, are protected from exploitation in all forms, including media campaigns, child-labour, pornography and armed conflicts.

(3) All children, without exception, have the right to be raised in healthy surroundings, in a neutral setting, free to form their own person, thoughts and beliefs, including political and religious ideas.

The Universal Declaration for Human Rights.

Remember this guy?

2011-03-13T00:08:00.002+01:00

Outcome provincial elections (and senate)

2011-03-04T01:03:00.012+01:00

So Wednesday we got to vote on who gets to govern our province for the coming few years and through that decide who gets to sit in our Senate (basically the second level of national government). It was a bit of a dilemma for me because I was unhappy voting left but wouldn't feel comfortable voting right either. I did the regular test on the internet but it put me in the corner of "social conservative" which, in the Netherlands, hasn't got a party. The two parties I was situated closest to in the test were the Christian Union and the Christian Democrats. Both parties I wouldn't vote for if my life depended on it. Bloody Christians. Anyway, I figured I had to manually go through the parties programmes in order to decide what would be best for me to vote. Turned out I had most in common with Democrats '66, which is a party I can live with. Today I found out many unhappy socialists are turning to this party. For my province (Groningen) the election turned out pretty good:

Groningen (opkomst: 58%)

	Seats	2007	+/- (seats)	Votes (%)	+/- (%)
PvdA	12	12	0	24,9%	-1,30%
CDA	5	9	-4	12,0%	-7,40%
SP	6	7	-1	12,8%	-3,10%
VVD	6	5	1	13,1%	1,40%
ChristenUnie	3	4	-1	7,6%	-2,70%
GroenLinks(Green Left)	3	3	0	7,2%	-0,40%
Partij voor het Noorden	1	1	0	3,2%	-0,40%
D66	3	1	2	7,8%	5,20%
Partij voor de Dieren	1	1	0	2,1%	-0,10%
50PLUS	0	-	-	1,6%	-
Partij voor de Vrijheid	3	-	-	7,7%	-
Overige	-	0	-	-	-

The first column of numbers shows the current (new) amount of seats (chairs, number of people) the party got in the Provincial house. The column next to it ("2007") shows the previous number of seats.

The PvdA is the Dutch Labour Party, a pathetic central-left party which I voted for only once in the hope of swaying the national elections in at least partly the right way. That turned out bad since we lost, but only by a very small percentage. The north of the Netherlands (Groningen, Drenthe, Friesland) is always 'red' as in socialist. PvdA is the largest party in all three.

CDA is the Christian Democratic party, which I passionately hate. They are quite moderate in their Christian output, but they're still Christian and therefore deserve no place in government. It's a disgrace to secularism, it is. Sadly, most Dutch have been voting their way for years. Fortunately, those people tend to be old and bound to die soon, relieving us from their poor political insight. In the Dutch Biblebelt (mainly the province of Overijssel) the CDA is most popular, which, shamefully, also resulted in Overijssel being the only province in which the CDA is the largest.

SP is the Socialist Party. I've been a member of this part for little over two years. Then I got fed up with their ridiculous views on immigration and religious freedom that I quit my membership. I did vote for the twice, and I guess I still would if their course was more to my liking. They are more hardcore socialists than the PvdA (Labour Party) which attracts many young idealists.

VVD is the party for economic liberals and social misfits. Though a liberal party, its anti-social economical measures displeases many. I almost voted for them in the past national election, since the economic depression was on its way, but decided I didn't want money to be pulled from education or healthcare. Sadly, this is the largest party in the Netherlands and basically all other provinces vote for them.

D66, my current favourite party. Heading for social liberty and economic stability, what drove me to vote for them most was their strong intent to invest (rather than cut) in education and healthcare. The building blocks of any society.

Partij voor de Vrijheid, the much debated PVV of the infamous Geert Wilders. A party, again, for social misfits who uphold the idea that the Netherlands is founded on a Judeo-Christian history. Undemocratic, unintelligent and quite preposterous. But they are on the rise, especially in the south of the Netherlands where polarization is strong and social skills questionable.

I'm not unhappy with how the election turned out for my province. I am more unhappy with what the rest of my country is thinking... I'm afraid I'll have to end this post just like I did the previous one on the outcome of elections:

I am no democrat.

But when democracy is utilized, it is quite sad when only 58% of the voters turns up in my province. And that is a lot, considering the rest of the Netherlands is almost all below that level, the highest being 61% and the lowest 51%. I've always been of the opinion that, if people decide not to vote, they don't get to kick about the political state of affairs. No voting = no complaining. But this means half of my fellow citizens gets to shut up about politics for the coming four years, which makes it hard to enforce my rule.

In other news: I am depressed and (finally) seeking help. It annoys me to be unhappy, tired and unable to find the energy to do anything. Besides that, being depressed is very unlike how I see myself. Let's hope the psychologist is any help... And I can now be found on facebook. I know I swore off friend network sites, but it turns out it cannot be avoided in this day and age. /diederick.a.becker

I'm still in the Academy of Nursing, but will need to start over next year. I've been missing a lot because of this damn depression... it seems to be happening to a lot of young adults, so I'm anxious to find what might be causing it. Of course I have some theories of my own, but I can't diagnose myself, yet. I am, however, digging into medicine and psychology and plan on getting ahead before the next year at the academy starts. My friends and colleagues are very supportive, fortunately.
Lately I've been 'investigating' Joseph Sayers. This hot little man has been in my catalogue ever since I found out I had a taste for men. Turns out there are some rather exciting pictures of him doing some softcore pornography for Edelson photography (which the above and below pictures also originate from). Sadly those are hard to get ones hands on, at least without the exciting parts being blurred. Would any of my readers have what I am looking for - please contact me.

Removing something at birth

2011-01-17T14:09:00.006+01:00

It's a complete business to keep them clean and well tended to, everyone at least needs to see to them every once in a while to not be regarded dirty or creepy. They seem to be the perfect place to accumulate dirt in the form of a strange goo or dried up filth. Their function is questionable, some say it has something to do with nerve-endings; but that is about all there is for it. Other reasons to keep them on are from the days we still scratched each other's backs and had to build mud huts - not of this age and day. So I'd like to propose to get rid of them at an early age, because it will be less painful that way and everyone knows the younger a person is, the better wounds will heal. Of course the wounds from the procedure will be minor, less than a paper cut. And there are perfectly safe painkillers for young children, would that seem necessary. And think of all the related issues to this part of the human body that we will do away with!

But somehow we don't remove the finger-and toenails from young children... and I think if someone would actually propose it, no matter how well founded their claims, we would all deem them mad. If a fringe group would do it themselves, among themselves, they would all be arrested and their young ones placed in foster care. So why do we circumcise young boys? Is it really just because the Egyptians thought of it in a time no one recalls and we just sort of stick with it because so many other people do it too?

The parallel with toenails seemed most fitting, since there are so many things alike with them as with the foreskin (hygiene issues, potential health problems, 'nerve endings', etc.), but the same could be said for natural body hair which could be dealt with permanently at an early age, or any other part of the body we think of as unwanted and which is hardly more than an evolutionary left-over. The coccyx even, part of the central vertebral column, which seems without purpose and can cause hellish pain when it breaks. But I think the coccyx (tailbone) is less useless than nails.

My point is that, though we have been modifying the human body in terms of purposely removing or scarring it, for hygiene or, most of all, aesthetic means for ages; even before we remember; when a medical procedure which has no real medical merit is carried out, one would suspect that the person it is being done to has at least given his or her consent. Strangely, that is not the case for children. Parents, apparently, are allowed to do with their child anything that is regarded as normal by the majority. But that is no means to found a medical procedure on, let alone the legality of such procedures. Suppose we did start removing the nails of our young children, say at the age of two, the next day those children would come to school, their teachers will immediately call child protection services to call in this misdemeanor. Or for a more extreme version: what about female circumcision?

Nails, of course, are for scratching and for picking up small things. Our toenails are without purpose completely, a left-over from the days we had claws. The suggestion that they would protect the nerve-endings is weak, and preposterous when this argument is used to defend the removal of the foreskin. The important nerve-endings of the fingers are on the side opposite to the nails... and those nerves that do lie underneath the nails, would be sufficiently protected by the regular skin as it would by that hard bit that grows over it.

If an adult would have his nails removed permanently, no one would make a fuss and we would all giggle and get on with our lives. The same would go for an adult who has his earlobes cut off, his tailbone removed, a couple of ribs removed or his foreskin cut off. The point where we would take a stand against such actions, is when they are done to people who can't give consent. And that is all there is to it. There is no argument which would stand up in court that would allow parents to cut off bits of skin from their young boy's penises, without it being a medical issue (sometimes the foreskin is too tight, causing pain during erection or even problems when urinating). Even if it were a useless part of the body.
On a lighter note, I am still doing the scoutmaster thing regardless of saying I would quit when I would not have two full-time scoutsleaders on my side by Christmas. I have one new scoutsleader who (besides being quite handsome) is becoming a level 4 nurse (basic nurse) and has been a scout before. We both decided we weren't going to quit, the reason seems to be that we would find it a shame to have to stop over something like having no leaders. Fortunately, I'm seeing a new potential leader tonight, she (it's a female) has been a scout before as well and I've been in the same group as she was for several years. If she joins our team (and I mean the scoutsteam) we'll be good for the coming year.

I'm also purchasing a new knife. As you may recall the last one I had was stolen along with my wallet and mobile phone early in the summer holiday of last year. This knife has been on my wish-list for quite some time (even before the robbery) and I feel very happy about finally getting it. It's a sophisticated outdoor knife, of a superior steel quality. It is only just legal (2mm longer and it wouldn't be) but the knife is obviously not meant as a weapon so I should be safe. Besides, it's not something I would carry around on a daily basis.

The outdoorsman by ColdSteel.

And I'd like to share the below video with you. It's an old favourite.

Ur-Spo's Past Year Evaluation List

2010-12-30T19:30:00.006+01:00

2010 Accomplishment

Moving up the organizational ladder to the role of coordinator or team-leader in my three volunteer jobs.

2010 Discovery

Red-haired men.

Favourite 2010 Vacation/Holiday

Summer-camp in Germany (which also happens to be the only vacation in 2010).

Best dining in 2010

Greek restaurant in the city I live.

2010 Regret

My €3.000 debt.

Magic Moment in 2010

The last hour before I found out he is straight.

What states did you visit in 2010?

None.

The 2010 Surprise

The Dutch voters are less social than I had expected and the damned Christian Democrats are in the government again...

Three 2011 Goals

- Find a mate and do some mating.

- Get more organized.

- Try to avoid depression.

Credit to Ur-Spo for this wonderful questionnaire.

Two movies

2010-12-28T22:10:00.013+01:00

So there you are, lying in bed, watching a movie you've just illegally downloaded, suffering an annoying cold with a side of splitting headache; and what do you do after the movie is finished? You make a blogpost on how awful it was. But don't fret, I'll comment on the latest Harry Potter flick as well, which I thought was good enough.

The dreaded movie I just watched is called "the last exorcism", being a fan of the whole theme - not the movies, I think every single Exorcist movie in history was a revolting piece of shit - I thought it would be nice to download it. The trailer was so promising...

So anyway, this movie started out swell, it gave the impression of being a documentary where one of those obnoxious evangelical guys who lost his faith is followed through his last exorcism - by way of exposing the whole scammy business. Great stuff I'd say. And the movie really does have the greatest potential with moments of sheer brilliance all through it, though I can't really name any at the moment... ...maybe they weren't so great after all. It's safe to say that in the Exorcist movies there, too, are moments of excellence, great stuff which could have been part of the greatest of movies. But the rest of those were crap so those few scenes of actual movie delight are smothered in poo. Anyway, to the storyline... As the pastor drives to this place of the people who wrote him a please-come-and-help-my-daughter-is-possessed-letter we get to meet this gorgeous little man with red hair, who tells the good pastor to make a u-turn and go back to wherever he came from. After the pastor says 'no thank you,' and continues to ask someone else for directions, the boy throws muddy rocks at the vehicle he and the crew are sitting in. The boy turns out to be the possessed girl's brother and after discovering the pastor is a conman, which doesn't take long, he, strangely, says he has no problems with him anymore. The eerie attitude and twist of mental illness captivated me and I started warming up to the boy.

The pastor tries to exorcise the demon from the girl, twice. Before he exorcises her again she is shortly hospitalized because she looks like hell, as in mental breakdown. Not surprising since, throughout the movie, we get a clear sense that something is not functioning properly in that home. Turns out she is pregnant. As pastor-guy drives back, firm in his belief that the father raped his own daughter, there is some struggle during about ten minutes, after which the dad tells the pastor that if he doesn't exorcise his daughter, he will do so himself. Flash-back moment from the woman in the crew, she reminds the pastor (but obviously aimed at the movie-watcher) that her only salvation is death, or exorcism; suggesting her father means to kill her. So pastor-man decides to exorcise again. Somewhere along the girl cut her brother's face (the cure red thing), who is then taken to hospital by daddy. You can imagine my inner nurse fantasy went wild and I stopped paying much attention for a while. There are a lot of screams and stuff and she takes the camera from the crew at some point giving us a good picture of how she kills a fluffy cat.

The movie struggles on like this, with much more shaky camera action, darkness, weird sounds and screaming, until the pastor finally returns to the house for the last scene, where some peculiar ritual is taking place. By the vague chanting, red robe and big fire, we (the viewer) quickly get the idea that this is some kind of Satanist cult. We see the baby being born which turns out to be non-human and it is thrown onto the fire. That seemed strange to me, to kill it, but whadda you know: the creature is burnt and out comes this demon figure in the huge flames. The pastor seems to have regained his faith through this ordeal and starts praying and eventually walks up to the demon while holding his special-effects-crucifix in hand (it is shown how it puffs up smoke when a button is pushed, one of the exorcism tricks). It is right at that moment that the rest of the crew, the woman and the camera man, get too scared and run off. So we are back to documentary-mode after going through the Exorcism of Emily Rose-mode and Rosemary's Baby-mode. Not very effective planning, but I already said this movie stinks. While the camera man keeps his camera panned as he runs for deer life *sigh* we watch the bitch, I mean woman, being chopped into by someone with a big axe. Now all we have left is the camera man, whose face we have seen in about two scenes this whole movie, and his shaking images of sheer darkness. Finally we are released from our torment by, praise Jesus, the ginger boy, who is remarkably well dressed for a satanic killing machine. It's a pity the bandage is still on his face, but I guess the contrast is artistic enough. We hear a slicing noise and the camera man is dead. THE END.

What I hated most about this movie is how it fails to be what it makes you hope it is from the beginning. I was so looking forward to a documentary-style movie on the scam that is exorcism. When it turned into another Exorcist movie I was like, sure, great intro, let's go. But when it turned into Rosemary's Baby and then went back, in a last attempt at saving whatever was left of a story, to documentary-style - I was unhappy.The movie had the greatest potential, and had lots of good stuff in it, but eventually it failed to deliver. Though it is a somewhat nice story with lots of stuff people will be familiar with, it got my hopes up and turned into a mediocre production.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, on the contrary, did live up to expectations and it can safely be said it is the best so far in the Harry Potter collection. Though this was just part 1, I'm quite confident part 2 will be the climactic ending we all are waiting for. The fact that they tore the thing in two bugged me, but since they made this into such a good movie, I can well understand they don't want people to sit it through in 5 hours straight. I like how the actors are becoming adult, the bad shave on Harry and Ron is particularly nice. Ron turned into quite the treat in this movie, though his boy-loves-girl antics keep me focused on the bigger storyline.

Yeah, ride that pole!Not all T-shirt slogans are bad. And yes, I definitely would.

Though I generally hate cliff-hangers the one at the end of this part1 was to be expected. So I guess I don't blame the makers of this movie for it. This movie was good. There was loads of action, a good plot, a fair sequel to all its predecessors and, now that the actors are buffing up into adulthood, much more nudity. Heck, Harry almost bares all when taking a jump into freezing water. If you haven't seen it yet, I would really recommend it. The Harry Potter movies have gone from mediocre to good, and from good to quite amazing. Looking back at the Philosopher's Stone, I think the movie series, much like the actors, we growing into adulthood and thereby became much more jummy.

This leaves me bidding you a splendid new year and I'd just like to bring mr. Allen Clippinger to your attention. His name is a bit odd, but he compensates with muscle. Quite the hunky type, I think his body is rather over the top, but to be honest, I don't think I'd care that much. See you later, hopefully within less then a month-and-a-half, which is the time it has been since my last post. A damn shame.

Melinda

2010-11-16T02:00:00.005+01:00

- - SCARY WALL OF TEXT AHEAD! - -

Had another weird dream wednesday-night, last week. Got up at 5am to write it down. Somehow writing them down automatically makes me remember them better. I pretty much remember the last post I did (I Had A Dream) as well. The mind is a peculiar memory-storer. This post is titled after the name of the girl I save in the dream. The below is as I wrote it down (yes, in English).
---
It started vaguely at the Northern Whitsun Camp of scouting. I remember being in traffic, seeing the scouting tractors (our own) and there was some interaction with the drivers. What I clearly remember is walking among tents, where I apparently was with my SIGMA team (the medical technicians team of the Netherlands Red Cross), but we, or at least me and two others, were in white naval like uniforms. [This seems to have nothing to do with scouting or the Whitsun Camp, but I did dream it up...] We were providing first aid I think, or just there for no apparent reason. We were overlooking a large colonne of military personnel passing by, from a hill where we had the tents set up. There was a fence we were leaning against. As we were looking down, we heard shouting. They were three marines in light-brown uniforms with dark hair. I apparently thought they were making gay remarks about the position I had, so I flipped them the finger and made confirming remarks back while sluttishly pointing at my ass. Eventually they came up, but nothing happened. Then there were two victims with minor injuries (one had a jab on the nose and another had a pretty nice cut in the face as well), which were easy to handle as I was preparing to do so; but they were snatched away by some woman in regular clothes. I hate it when bystanders rob me of work... Then we were (suddenly) in a tour through the tents, lead by an army-fireman. He explained how they usually use the tents, showed why they rolled up the sides of the tents and as we walked on I commented on a stack of fuel supplies with a tarpaulin over them which was rolled aside half of the yellow flame mark on the tarp, indicating the nature of what it was covering. Next thing I know I'm back at the Whitsun Camp walking along the tents, checking them out (as I usually do) and on my way noticing a strange construction of stacked logs with ropes attached, holding up a large tarpaulin, forming a tent. After wondering how they got all those logs here and marvelling at how labour-intensive it must be, I went to take a look inside. There was an elevation, made with oddly placed poles, in a shallow V-shape, to form a floor. I heard children in the tent, obviously preparing their beds.

I walked out of the tent on another side where this hot, shirtless blond leader was sitting. He was talking about how the Freylema group (old rival) still had their old tents; but I couldn't but stare at his amazing body. He went like "gross, dude" to which I replied something along the lines of "come on, handsome", trying to get him to be less defensive. We talked for a bit about tents and stuff and the leadership training I remembered I had done with him. More people joined us as we were apparently sitting on a garden-table-set-thing (you know, with two benches on either side of a table, in one piece). I knew the scouting group from other activities but couldn't (and can't) remember the name. This dark haired guy also came along and started flirting, but my interest was with the blond leader I had known before. "Because of the heat" I took off my t-shirt [the navy uniform was gone], shortly after which I left. Of course I forgot to take the shirt with me... I felt happy about my naked upper body. I went back to the blond who was already asking whose t-shirts these were (they were multiple), out of which I just grabbed mine. It was a DelfSail shirt, where I was with the Red Cross and Scouting, which he (the blond shirtless leader) immediately recognized and said "Oh, Of course you were there too!". I continued on my way walking bare-chested in the sun towards the beach. Where we normally have the Whitsun Camp there is no beach, only pine forests and large open areas of dry grass on sandy grounds, but no matter. I walked to beyond the line of tents and saw the masses of people on the dirt road crossing through the tents and headed for the beach as well. There was a small dyke when I arrived and I leaned against it watching crowd. Suddenly people were scared and I looked behind me.

A strange black thundercloud, stretched in a thick line across the coast for as far as we could see and hanging low, had appeared. It rolled right over the small dyke we were holding on to. We watched it as it suddenly came down and not 10 metres away from us, right on top of the people walking on the concrete path in the dunes. They were consumed for a moment, then the lightning started. The cloud became less dense and we could see people get hit by the strikes. Robert, a guy I knew well who is an ex-colleague leader, was hit by it, the electricity passed through his body and he grabbed for his head but kept running (they weren't running at first). A kid also got hit which apparently immobilized his knee and he went through it. More regular (grey, not the strange shape) clouds were coming in which started pouring rain. We told kids to to cover: make themselves as small as possible sitting with only their feet touching the ground. The kids all complied beautifully as I looked around me. I and the other leaders addressed the kids who were lying flat and kept kept pointing at the sky with their fingers (for some reason). I also asked the boy which got hit how he was feeling.

Then all of a sudden water was flowing over the dyke, I figured it was the heavy rains at first, but the salt and brown colour quickly made me realize it was seawater. It went right over us. I tried to hold on to the wooden railing which ran across the dyke's length, but the water quickly rose as to submerge the young boy I was protecting. He went under and lost my grip of the railing. I want along with the flow and saw many in despair around me, but hardly any of the children there were at first. As I got to some kind of wooden elevated walkway about ten metres away from where the sea caught me. I shouted to the boy who was still with me, whose head was now above the sandy water, to vomit (to get out the water somehow), which he immediately did. I went back for the dyke for some reason, I guess safety, and in the process lost the boys head under water again. I again told him to vomit as we arrived at the wooden railing of the dyke, and this time he barfed up some red vomit with chunks in it. For some reason I looked around me again, and there it was; about a hundred kids floating around, drowning. One leader was already resuscitating a child on the wooden walkway, and I immediately went towards the other victims. The horizontal beam of the railing was in the way so we had to go under it, I guess because the sandy dyke was washed away by the flood, which would submerge us (the boy and me) again. I held my hand across his mouth as we went under for a short period of time. I dropped him off at the slope of the wooden walkway on top of which some leaders were saving lives while in a crowd of children.

I looked around me and to find the nearest victim for me to help. Now many children were still in the water, but swimming in terror. One girl floated lazily in the brown mass of seawater. As a kid crashed in her swimming, she didn't respond. So I went for her, one young girl was swimming behind her from my point of view and sort of gave her to me. She said "Yes, yes, Melissa!". I dragged her the white-faced girl to the boardwalk and a girl, about 16 years old, helped me drag her on top of it. It crossed my mind to explain to her why I am qualified to help this child, but quickly established that she was too young to be better trained than me and would, under these circumstances, not doubt my action. I asked her to stay with me in case I'd need help and started the resuscitation procedure. I accurately followed child- and drown victim resuscitation protocols, first giving mouth-to-mouth ten times, then fifteen chest compressions followed by two respirations and repeating the last two steps continuously. People around me were doing chest compressions mostly, at least that is all I saw, but it didn't occur to me to offer some feedback in the heat of the battle.

While considering the possibly many more children floating around waiting for help, I woke up.

Glee is the real Obama

2010-11-10T16:23:00.003+01:00

I don't watch television, unless I have to because I am at my parent's place and bored beyond belief. Still, American television is not something regular cable provides, so I'm not sure the title of the post is accurate. But I think, from what I pick up on the net and especially on YouTube, Glee is the best thing that ever happened to American television. It's the Obama America never got in the form of a television show.

It's been on for a while, but I've been hearing very positive comments on it here and there. And then this post came on Nightcharm.com. I wish homosexuality was a higher education thing for real, it'd make things so much easier for everyone... The a capella version really improves the song, mostly because I generally dislike female pop-singers and absolutely love male a capella formations, like the UNC Achordants I featured in a few posts a long, long time ago.

Then I stumbled upon the preview of their 'Rocky Horror Show', with a sensational blond stud wearing nothing but tight gold shorts, called Sam. Sure his tan isn't great and his cuteness could be improved, but damn those are nice abs! And then there is this fabulous coach-woman played by Jane Lynch, whom you probably know from the sneaky gays video. I love her style and the role she plays - brilliant! This little compilation is a real treat.

In other news: I'm not making it to deliver a few of the projects in time, which we have to do for school. They seem trivial and I am not motivated to do them. They require little effort - which I already knew is bound to ruin my karma eventually. They get postponed until eventually I go "why the hell would I bother anyway!?". After these two weeks of exams, a new period begins and I am telling myself to pick up with the enthousiasm I always have beginning on a project and disregard the stretching laid upon it by school and just get in, dig deep and get it over with before things get shoved on the long-term planning again - leading to disaster.

Pale Horses

2010-11-03T22:14:00.012+01:00

It's past the fall-break now and I have a lot I still need to do for school which is due for next week. Both individual and group efforts seem to have come to a halt, which is so typical of me... I'm always very enthusiastic about projects, especially really interesting ones (for example, no one but me was happy that we got a case regarding problematic immobility, about a 71 year old widow who used to live a remarkably active life, but fell into a deep pit when her husband died and for which we had to make an intervention plan). But that enthusiasm tends to hold up for just a few weeks, because things tend to be stretched too long in school and sometimes the tedious rules surrounding a project get the best of me. But always, the delay forced upon a project by school (doing things in slow steps), really pisses me off. I am someone who needs to throw himself into a project and get it done.
I've just come back from the evaluation meeting for the coordinators of the 4Mile of Groningen, the large running event which happened about a month ago (10th of October). It went well, we had little casualties (at the event, not the meeting) and of course the only issues were with those damned volunteer medics we have to work with. Some of them, we'd rather not have in the Red Cross, but as I've mentioned before, volunteers are hard to find these days so we can't be too critical. We were with a good group of people, the coordinators, the meeting passed smoothly and though there were some debates which went out of what is useful to discuss, we finished within two hours. We decided I am to coordinate (not just co-coordinate) the Start area, and I have to find a co-coordinator, for if I get sick and to assist me during the event the coming year - if I think that will be necessary.
Red-headed guys really are my new favourite people. I think it is a real pity the red-gene is a recessive one, science should do something about that. It's now an even bigger plus than being blond. I'm starting to see some real structure in my preference for men, I really adore white skin and light hair colours. The contrast must appeal to me somehow. Only, it's so hard to find pictures of hot ginger men on the internet...

For the next schoolperiod (after next week) I plan to just pick up a project, focus on it for a few weeks and get it over with before the same problems arise. The only problem is that some projects involve other students, so I hope I can motivate them to follow my lead and get into action early.This one really made my jaw drop, sadly I couldn't find him without the damn watermarks. He really has many traits I like, a good clean face, cultured facial hair and a messy hair-do. A green shirt is of course also an excellent choice for a ginger. I love how the jawline is accentuated by his beard. My imagination is doing over-time tonight to imagine how brilliant the rest of him must be. Below is of course Prince Harry, one of the most famous gingers. I wish he'd be king of my country, if there was to be one to begin with. Much better than the Alexander we've got, bloody stiff...Two days ago I donated blood, that was the first time I watched that damned needle go in. I used to look away, even with the small intramuscular needles for vaccinations (the next Hepatitis A and B vaccination is tomorrow morning). Unlike other times I didn't really brace myself either, of course my right hand was still clenched in a fist, but that was because the nurse requested it of me, I guess it helps securing the vein she was about to enter. And I didn't even pass out! In my little one-handed try-outs for intravenous insertions, I established the quick and steady approach is best. But I can't seem to feel comfortable enough to not take my time and spend at least five seconds going in slowly. Then again that must be because I only have one free hand and have to keep my skin tight and guide the needle at the same time. I'm done experimenting anyway, on myself at least. I can't wait to try it in school and on a real human being who is not me.

The below music video is one of Moby's beautiful works, the music at least, the video - I don't think so. The video is great, it shows this figure who is trying to make friends, and does so, but the keep dying on him. I recognized the idea that we all live putting an effort into other people, to make them our friend and have them around, but eventually we are really on our own. How we put time and energy into a social network, which is very fragile to say the least. Not a very uplifting message I took from it, but I'm used to coping with such things. Besides, I've got the Irish Red with me.

Class representative & mr. Right

2010-10-21T23:23:00.008+02:00

An ideal guy.
With a great smile, a sophisticated face.
A light haircolour, red or blond.
Kept short, but allowing for some facial hair.
Bare or furry chest, I don't care as long as it is neat.
A defined chest, upper arms are bigger than lower arms.
Eyebrows are important, not to be meddled with too much.
Sideburns: mandatory.
Armpits need to have hair, smell is good.
His neck must be free of hair.
Big hands are attractive.
Nails need to be short, but not polished.
Arteries need to be visible on arms.
Big biceps and other bigness is hot, but keep it proportional.
White skin is perfect, (fake) tans are the devil.
Is 'versatile'.
Big legs: mandatory.
One of those asses over which a T-shirt falls so tightly would be great.
Pubic hair must be present, no one fucks a baby.
Ears need to be free of hair and small ears are cute.
Bigger ears aren't bad.
Nose needs to be a common shape.
Do not shave body hair.
Feet are not an awkward shape.
Toenails need to be cared for to a certain level.
Preferably uncut.
Must not be ridiculously short of stature.
Isn't too hung up about his looks, but does care.
Casual clothing style.
Has a deep voice.
Is not fat and cares about his health.
Doesn't smoke or do drugs other than alcohol or caffeine.
Is not deaf, blind or mute.
No diseases.
Hasn't got Pat Robertson and Sarah Palin or the likes as parents.
---
Is a good person.
Is well educated or can at least engage in decent discussion.
Loves me.
Can take criticism and can give feedback.
Has his own perspectives on things.
Likes physical contact, a lot.
Has imperfections, which he recognizes.
Is not a capitalist.
Doesn't subscribe to a religion.
Knows when to shut the hell up.
Understands and abides social rules when necessary.
Doesn't torture insects or other small animals.
Is not a Nihilist.
Has a relatively good empathic ability.
Likes his profession or will otherwise move to another.
Can handle money (because I suck at it).
Understands technical stuff, like computers and IKEA furniture.
Can cook, at least pasta...
Is a gentleman.
A cute accent would be appreciated.
Has to speak either Dutch or English, or both.
Is out of the closet to the people who are most important to him.
Is not afraid to be in love in public.
Is a positive person, in the end.

If the above applies, here's my phone number: ***-********
Or rather not, just ask me for it, I've been getting some spam 'round here lately.

In other news, school is going great. I keep reminding myself it is not really school or college, but academy now... I just don't think that word fits well in sentences, or I would have to make them like "I am doing fairly well at the academy" which make me sound pompous. Anyway, I've been elected class representative today, an obvious choice and I was a little opposed to accepting it, since I wanted others to have the opportunity to try doing it, but to no avail. I am the guy that keeps the things going and the spirits up, so I guess I never stood a chance. My class is great and we're growing visibly, which is encouraging. Just today we had a very open conversation with a girl who has the greatest trouble accepting and giving feedback. In my country, an academic student is expected to think objectively and be able to handle criticism appropriately. She obviously couldn't and structurally went into defence-mode when criticism went her way, probably strongly related: she sucks at giving feedback, paying no real attention and focusing on details which allegations sometimes aren't even true.

Fall break is next week, I hope to be posting again then. Lately I've been discussing a little with this guy on OkCupid, that datingsite I still haven't left, and I took up ReligiousEducationForum again, which has cost me a fair deal of time as well. The paedophile thing is on hold right now, since I'm not feeling like investigating much more and nothing is coming from their side either. On one hand I'm glad there is this little interval, gave me time to think about the subject. Your comments helped a lot too, for which I thank Indio and Ad. Especially for that video of that hot little guy dancing, or rather, shaking his booty. I also love how he is semi-hard from, like, the very start of the video. And 'it' keeps getting worse - I mean, better : )
But I digress. As you know my scouts group is going through a deadly leader-shortage. Fortunately this hot blond studly guy of 20 y.o. is helping out. He's a nurse (lower level of education than me) and bloody hot. I think I've mentioned him before, he's been an explorer (youth 15 to 18) but dropped out somewhere around there. A body made for sex. Anyway, his addition makes me hopeful I will still have a group of scouts to lead after Christmas, which is our deadline for a new leaders team to be formed.

I've practised IV insertion on myself last week. I tried it before but with too low a Gauch (too thick a needle) which just didn't fit in my artery on the back of my hand. Later I tried a higher guage, which went perfect. I got the entire catheter in and drew 0.5 ml of blood, just for the sake of checking I was really 'in'. We're not doing the insertions yet at the academy, but it's something I see done wrong so often it is a passion of mine to become really good at it. And as with everything in Nursing Academy, it is important to know how things feel for patients, which is why we practice everything on each other, from full-body washing to removing stitches. My dad saw the bandaid I put on it and wondered what happened, I replied I experimented on myself. He seemed a little worried. I am not, I work sterile and properly desinfected the area of insertion. No more dangerous certainly than visiting the blood bank.

So basically I'm doing fine, I'm terribly busy but that is when I seem to perform at my best. I hope you are all fine (my loyal readers) and I apologize for the extreme lack of posts lately.

Stuff and Ryan Carnes

2010-09-29T22:17:00.013+02:00

William West has a new website, dedicated to himself. The good stuff is of course restricted, sadly, but if you have a credit card you should have no problem getting to it. The big downside is that I am not in possession of such a card, so I'm hoping this material will pop up somewhere I can get to it or become available to poor Dutch students in an alternative fashion.My posts seem without any really fantastic content lately, they're also not very frequent. I am still not very much in the rhythm of school-going yet, I hope this will not take too long though. Weekends are wrecking me and the highly variable times for the colleges aren't helping much in getting me into the groove.

School, regardless, is swell. I believe I am doing well and I enjoy most of the classes. Some of the colleges are given by lecturers I dislike so I am planning to skip them in the future. Apart from bad lecturers, my fellow students seem unaware of the importance of shutting up during a college, making for much irritation. My classmates are generally nice and motivated, though there are a few distant ones who seem to have trouble fitting in, as well as some very young girls who appear either out of their league or too occupied with business other than school. I am incidentally recruiting people for the Red Cross, I'm sure they have need for good medics, which nursing students are likely to make... right?

Concerning the Red Cross, I am to co-coordinate the start half of a large international running event, called the 4 Mile of Groningen. I had a completely pointless meeting about it yesterday evening and am still awaiting the latest concept-version of the programme. Fortunately the Red Cross is quite autonomous when it comes to coordinating events, so we don't need to be worried. I would like to be able to get some in-depth information on the event though... Strangely, I lost a colleague last year at this very event, it seems odd they are promoting me; but that is a different story entirely.

There has been a little shake-up at the Red Cross department I'm with, which has opened up some sights into the organization. I'm very eager to learn more about it, since I intend to delve into that when I stop being a scoutmaster, would that happen any time soon.

The COC is on hold right now, very little is happening for as far as I can tell and I'm not doing any presentations at schools. Mainly because I don't have time. I'm a little worried though, our previous coordinator has quit and left two new ones in charge, I hope they are up to the job, especially since many of the guys and girls we had last year to do presentations, have quit.

And I'm investigating more into the world of paedophilia. I know it's a heavy subject in almost all surroundings, but I guess I don't care that much about people's feelings, I care more about what they think is true. Basically I sympathize with them, I think I'll try to see if my COC department can do anything for them and I'm doing some small stuff for the organization for paedophiles in the Netherlands, Martijn.org, which forum I've delved into for the past year or so. I recently went to a meeting to see what I could do for them, not much was discussed but the crowd is pleasant enough and I had some good discussions with the 'key figures' of the organization. Though I sympathize because paedophiles are what I'd like to call the 'last scapegoats', highly demonized by popular culture and politics and all mention forbidden; I do find myself having trouble with the imbalance of power in adult-child relationships and the potential for harm to the child because of the relationship - regardless of the intentions of the adult.

Food for thought, that's for sure. Humanism goes a long way for me, let's just hope people will be able to see that instead of persecuting me for my neutrality.

Talking of neutrality, because of my friendship with two opposite parties within the Red Cross department, I had to actually say out loud that I try to remain neutral. An older woman who is a friend witnessed me talking amicably with a guy who is also a friend of mine. She went up to me and sneered inquiring whether I was siding with him. I answered "No, I seek to be neutral.". Which brought about evident disappointment to her face, but solved the issue for that moment. I think I'll have to get into that again later...

Besides the little struggle with the object of paedophilia, I'm feeling a little worried about my reputation. People are crazy when it comes to subjects like this and this might endanger my future career. Then again this is what I am interested in at the moment and, much like the Stormfront.org thing of a couple of years back, though people might mistake me for a paedophile, or likewise a racist, I'm pretty confident truth will win out and transparency will aid me in such.

Come to think of it, there haven't been many naked guys here for a while...

How fragile we are

2010-09-07T23:51:00.002+02:00

Tomorrow I start at nursing school, death has been on my mind since the end of summer. It may be an autumn depression, though my annual depression usually kicks in about a week after Summer camp. I like rain, so the depression is odd at this time. Though I look forward to nursing school, which starts tomorrow - or rather this afternoon since it is 00:20, recent influences have moved my thoughts to my coping with death.

I never really cared for anyone I buried. My granddad lived too far away and was a devout Catholic, as well as a no-body carpenter. Of no significance, other than that he was the only person I ever liked in 'that' side of the family - my dad's side. He might have been the greatest loss in family terms.

But you already knew family ties mean nothing to me. They are completely irrelevant, only when reproducing it's good to know who's who to prevent inbreeding. Don't get me wrong, I just see a difference between relation and responsibility. Family, as in the line of parents, has great responsibility over their children. But I don't care about nephews or grandparents who don't pick up responsibility or are not friends.

In general, I am very rational and straight-forward. This has helped me much in life. I am a true observer, this is how I learned things and how I live life. This looking from a distance at society has made for some interesting views, but also gave me a connection, or rather alerted me to a connection, I think many people are unaware of or are wilfully ignorant of. I care about mankind, and, though it seems a very, material thought, the more someone means to society, the more I care. Drifters are people I care about, but I care far, far less about the wasted lives in my country than I do about the lives dedicated to society's prosperity. A wealthy businessman, who has spent his life moving money around for profit, is a nobody. A teacher, dedicated to his students, hardly making ends meet financially, is a true pillar of society. The time in which money was a decent measurement for a person's importance, was long ago. Probably prehistoric.

Being straight-forward, rational and empathic, I reckon nursing school will bring me a big lesson. I really don't look forward to hurting people, with needles. I know how much it hurts when it goes wrong, and I know I am (because of that) well driven to learn how to do it perfectly. But it is one of those skills the skillslab won't really teach you, you have to learn by doing it on real people, not the dummy arms. Which brings me to coping with death again...

I have seen many people during first aid jobs and during the intern-ship on the ambulances who were in life-threatening situations, almost all of them because of heart-problems. I have never had to put my resuscitation skills, which we call reanimating, to use. I would like the experience, but I'm not sure how I will cope with literally having had the life of someone in my hands. During such situations I operate more or less on automatic pilot, I work on protocols and am focused on staying calm and, well, focused. No one ever died on an event I 'watched over', this is mere luck, largely, but sooner or later - and definitely would I choose Intensive Care as my specialization in nursing academy, I will have people die on me. Professionally, I will hardly ever know the significance of a person, but I'm pretty sure I will not be able, nor willing, to disregard such considerations. I will ascribe high importance to all unknown persons. Not that it will have any effect on my actions to save or help them, this is going ahead of after-care, as we call it. (Psychological help for rescue workers and others after a potentially traumatic event.) I'm not going to be at home with PTSS, ever. I need to cope with terror.

Losing someone, or having them be permanently disabled, is quite awful. I sometimes wish for a reason or a purpose, but placebos don't seem to satisfy me, I am too sceptical for myself. All in all, truth and rationality seem to work as a good system. Not denying what happened in any way, accepting the causes and outcomes and making sure I don't get stuck with the bad memory. Nursing school has classes focusing on psychology and also classes on ethics. I think the two will be very inspiring, regarding the above alineas.

I got a look at my class, we're about 15 strong, with only three males... it is the same for all other classes.

Getting fucked

2010-08-25T14:52:00.003+02:00

I'm sure I've vented about this before, but I can't watch regular television any more. In my student home I don't have a television - and I'm not missing it. But these bastards have all sorts of ways of trying to reach me and try pry loose some of whatever they want from me.

The worst are the charities. Flinging pictures of cute puppies in abuse and helpless Negro children in flooded or otherwise torn countries at me, they bid me to help. Well, it isn't much bidding, it's more like commanding. They don't ask any more, they say things like "Help, now." "Donate immediately." "You can make a difference by supporting us, send money to..." etc. And I hate it. The goddamn guts they have to come on my computer screen, attempt to talk me into some kind of guilt-feeling making me send money. Well that doesn't work with me. Watching those bastards talk in front of a bluescreen depicting a disaster area, I can just tell by the look on their faces that they're out to fuck me. And it doesn't matter which charity you pick, they're all the same, including the ICRC.

Now I know how MOST people work, how it is effective to play on people's feelings of compassion and other basic things like using fancy words 'those' people won't understand or throwing around statistics to appear more scientific. But to this observer, the whole bunch is deceptive, and I can't stand that. Especially not from charities, which one might think are there to help people.

The common commercials are so stupid these days that they have successfully trained me to resent watching television. They're so superficial and easy to see through. The tactics they use to ensnare people into purchases are so terribly obvious. Nauseating almost... it definitely makes my tummy hurt. A disgusting sensation of perceiving evil.

Commercials are bad karma.

Cleaning up

2010-08-24T00:03:00.003+02:00

The following are goodbyes to YouTube channels I have once subscribed to, but no longer wish to be a subscriber of. Basically to refresh and clear out the dead ones (which seems something I'll have to do to my blogroll soon...). In alphabetical order:

14bcb88 I think I subscribed to this channel out of a strange influx of interest in the Christo-fascists of America. I never saw one of its videos posted on my Subscriptions overview, which is unsurprising noticing the latest video was posted 7 months ago. Completely disinterested at this moment, I'm throwing it down the drain.

5sortastraightguys Obviously because it involved young gay men doing casual stuff. Probably the least refreshing channel for as far as I am to judge the gay-collab-channels. They haven't posted anything new for 5 months (not that that is the 'deadline' I work with), and I honestly can't say I'm anticipating anything new from their hands. Bye bye...

ajaxouch A sort of handsome guy who did a lot of fun videos, but deleted many of them. This is not done and really, that was the beginning of the end. He used to have pretty fun insights, but I think his channel is basically dead.

arrogantatheist Became very, very lame - or always has been. I need not say more. Completely without a clue why I subscribed to him, maybe he once made a clever remark or a cute video...

bmcnaught A slightly interesting couple of videos of his workshops on LGBT issues in the workplace etc. Very nice, but nothing new under the horizon. Definitely outdated.

causecast Had some quite brilliant videos when they started, but now just spam my Subscriptions box with low-profile celebrity interviews. Not what I want, definitely not what I need. It seemed to have great potential in the beginning, which is why I subscribed in the first place, but sadly disappointed on the long run.

cinemachezsoi No longer seems to exist. Which is why there is no link.

compagent A relatively good pianist, I was impressed by his version of Requiem for A Dream. But he hasn't impressed me again and hasn't posted anything new for a year. Time to cut the cord.

daveofalaveo Hot little slutboy, but his account got suspended. Again no URL.

depfox I really feel bad about letting these two guys slip, but I just don't care any more. They have some amazing videos lying around and are real activists. I've enjoyed them a lot in the past, but my interest seems to have watered away. No need to keep up appearances, that is not how I work.

ericos A fellow Dutchman, who's initial stuff I liked, but his terrible English is getting on my nerves. He is cute though, so I might keep visiting occasionally.

extraxhapstick Again a cute boy, but not worthy of my time. He attempts to sing a little, but his latest video (of two months ago) was the obvious beginning of the end.

fhey1337 And another cute boy who plays some guitar. He does pretty well, but fails to keep us hanging on with regular issues of new songs or at least updates. Not a sound for a year, bad karma...

funscenes Another closed account.

g0at Brilliant and very attractive heterosexual, with a good view of the world. Sadly he has stopped posting and I believe he gave his account to some other guy. Either way, his (again, brilliant) videos have all been deleted. So long fellow.

gaycomicgeek Which basically says it all. He's a bright young man, with some pretty big guns and a sparkling personality. But a little too geeky for me. He's quite a settled celebrity in some circles, which obviously aren't mine.

greg85or Filmmaker, made this cute short film I liked, but has done nothing more. No need to subscribe really, so there you go.

harrietcraig (2) Gay pop culture connection. Fortunately I got cured from it by an allergic reaction to some of the elements in those videos. Garbage, really.

johnson154 Was this very attractive young man with reddish hair and a great personality. I found him as a gay boyscouts (eager for someone similar to me). He's out of business though, as of two years.

karpadiem Besides misspelling it, he is obnoxious. His blondness must have had me confused into subscribing to his channel.

kylemajorscb Kyle Major's Cocky Boys, yes, a pornographer. Sadly he has stopped publishing through YouTube. There were some pretty hot (and new) guys there, they'll be missed.

ladysilver2267 Another dead one.

liamthewhite A gay guy at nursing school. He got anxious when his classmates found his channel and he apparently quit. I quite liked him, most profound memory of the channel are his day-to-day irritations with people. He is being missed.

mavoss An upcoming musician who suddenly stopped doing YouTube, for no apparent reason. He really is quite good and I let him know that in my comments. Sadly, nothing new has been posted for over 2 years... at least the old vids are still there.

mix810 Started from my parkour interest, but turned out to be some stupid boys doing tricks. Most of all, I can't stand their high-pitch yelling.

notohaters0 A name for a channel which is bound to have a short life. Clearly so, since there hasn't been anything new for over a year, and what was there (and is still there to be found) wasn't that ground-breaking. There are better atheist-interest channels.

ofrancescomori Studly stripper, sadly another corpse for an account.

oxfordmedicalschool For obvious reasons of great interest to me, especially helpful in the elements I had to master in primary and secondary triage for the SIGMA training. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like the world will be treated with any more of these amazingly clear and very professional videos. A damned shame.

pendulumlive I liked a song or two of them, but they basically suck for the rest.

qafchannel Queer As Folk, I was interested in new stuff, which, regrettably, stayed out. Again one I haven't heard from in two years.

queershere Cute channel with nice movie excerpts. But not worth it in the end, easily overshadowed by other channels like it and, really, a google search will do the same.

r0sewhip137 Deceased.

rockaholic1 Has some great guitar stuff on, but the rest if the channel displeases me.

scotthermanfitness Gorgeous stud, with a great smile and adequate body. Straight, a friend of DaveyWavey. A little too muscular for my taste. He does some great vlogs, but I'm getting sick of his work-out tips.

spleenpoetry Nice music, probably subscribed to them by request, but not impressed enough to want to be updated with their latest tracks.

steandkel Who doesn't know them. But they're not posting anything new, so it's goodbye subscription for me.

steinmann77 Tyler Oakley will ring some bells for sure. I don't know why or how I got myself into this single-video-channel, but it's now time to say goodbye. I come across Tyler (that cute little bitch) often enough, and it doesn't seem like this channel will add anything any time soon to that steady diet.

superdouchexpress Deceased.

thepullmymoon I have no memory of this channel, other than that I believed it was very good. Sadly there are no more videos to be found there and that doesn't bode well for the future of it. Time to go off the ship.

undressfan (2) (3) All deceased. Uploaded cute short movies from MTV's Undressed.

whchiew Baffled that I ever subscribed to it, I now undid that error.

willarthurmusic Because he isn't really all that great and lost me completely.

wschamp444 Of course we see one of my all-time favourite men doing athletics here. But that was years ago and nothing new happened. Another single-video-channel, to unsubscribe from.

zachstockdale Awful and obnoxious. A fool I have been...

The rest of my subscriptions are recommendable. That is one of the criteria I'd now like to uphold. That and that I won't be going *sigh* when I come across new uploads from a channel I subscribed to. The *sigh* reaction is not good when it is evoked by other people's creative attempts. There's still 67 left at the moment. View them here. And here is something from my Favourites, a 'latest addition'. I guess I'd have to clean up my Favourites too, but that has everything to do with videos being "no longer available" rather than me deciding they're not really part of my favourites any more.

When it does hit you

2010-08-19T22:58:00.014+02:00

You know I had to attend two funerals in a row the past two days, two young guys. I didn't know them, but for the guy I witnessed the ceremony of yesterday, this is strange. When I listened to all the speakers, it occurred to me he was very much like me - almost scary similar. He had outstanding social skills, something I can safely say for myself; he worked for the COC (the oldest still remaining GLBT organization in the world, a Dutch platform), was a scoutsleader, taught at a school which I had visited in the 6 months he worked there and was an organizational talent.

I was amazed about the fact that I did not know him.

He was just 5 years older than I am, society lost one of its best.

And he was SO not done living yet. Listening to what he had planned and what he got himself into. How the schools he worked for fought for his time and how he was a remarkable person with much ahead of him. The 'unfinished-ness' of things, the loss of such a remarkable cogwheel in the machinery of society - that did hit me. Not while on shift of course, I am a very professional person in many respects. But I did feel a little down when I got home. Nothing I had ever felt before after any funeral. Nothing a Scotch couldn't fix, and fortunately there was this gay boy I know through the helpers forum to unload on. But enough to start off this post with.

Today I had a lazy day. Again. : ) I'm really noticing how things get sloppier and sloppier when I am without a rhythm from either school or work. My place is a mess. But anyway, I took it easy today, paid some extra attention to my diet and donated blood this evening. When I got back Dave (the straight blond thing) was there to meet me just after I put my bike in the shed. We went to the parents of one of my scouts, who is more or less the focus point of torture in the scoutsgroup and I was not looking forward to seeing that position escalate the coming year - especially since it's just me and one colleague who are running the group. I explained the problem quite straight-forward and the parents took it well. We are placing him in the parallel scouts group, which is easier-going and hasn't got a very masculine atmosphere hanging among the kids - so no very dominant kids he needs to prove himself to. The parents agreed and we asked the kid as well, he was looking forward to the new group, where he already knows a few kids, so he has a connection.

Tomorrow, as I realized this evening after a very late e-mail, I'll be trying to pry loose a loan from the government and - what the mail came for - will be doing a First Aid shift in Groningen (where I live). Not for the Red Cross directly, a different FA organization asked for our assistance. Which we are always happy to give, be it for a reasonable price. I don't see any of that money of course, but that what volunteer's are used to.

I've been thinking about gay marriage, and especially marriage, a lot lately. What benefits it has, but also what drawbacks. I know many people who live out their lives together, without ever getting married. But I definitely see myself giving way to such a contract. I think it does show the world that you are serious about a relationship and, well, it's how it's supposed to happen. The classical way of being together, for real. Thinking of an ideal spouse my thoughts tend to wander...
The perfect husband. Matthew is bound to make a man very very happy. Such a sparkling personality (for what we see of it), so stylish and beyond any doubt one of the most beautiful men the world has ever known. There seems to be a resemblance between him and David Wenham... I don't know what it is, but I guess it's the facial features. Both are definitely insanely gorgeous.

First Aid Funeral

2010-08-17T22:14:00.008+02:00

I dislike funerals, most of them at least. I have not once enjoyed one, and I know they are not meant to be 'enjoyable', which might be why I don't like them. Though I am not sure how I'd like for my family, friends and relations to part from what remains of me after I'm brain-dead; what I've seen so far is not the way...

I went to a funeral this afternoon, not someone I know, I went there because the Red Cross was asked to provide First Aid at the event. It concerned a young man who died while on vacation with a student body of Alpinists, one of two who perished during the exercising of their sport. I had never and have never heard of this, and never hope to hear of this again. There were about 350 people in the building, not nearly enough for the government to demand our presence; and not nearly enough for us to be occupied. We usually begin being deployed when the number of people rises above 600 or so, we are used to dealing with thousands of people at an event. Regardless, we were asked to come, so we came.

Well we were intensely busy there... one guy felt sick and looked about to pass out, he recovered without our attention (though one of us felt the need to walk along with him) and one handsome blond thing actually collapsed, but right into the arms of who I was told was a doctor of medicine; before I could get to him. There was more eye candy, but somehow this didn't seem like the occasion to pick up someone. The blond thing had his eyes open when I got to him and was in good hands - not that passing out like that is of any interest to me - so I aborted mission. I told a colleague who came over as well that he was going to be fine; but she persisted. Poor old hag, she probably felt just as bored as I did.

The worst of it all is that we were there with four medics. A number more common for high risk events or events with (at least) over 1500 people. This was neither. We felt very much out of place (especially with our extremely prominent Red Cross outfit) and really completely useless.

Tomorrow we have the other guy's funeral. From what I've heard I'll have less nice colleagues (those were okay today) and the whole thing is to take less time than today. And for some reason the funeral facility feel like they only need three of us tomorrow. Definitely something to be discussed to avoid future deployment of Red Cross medics on a funeral with less than one-thousand attendees.Well, at least the music was good. He had Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Art, and (funny coincidence) the Jeff Buckley thing I posted a couple of days back (Hallelujah). I was so pleased we were spared The Rose and that there was no religious bullshit involved. The rest of the music was uplifting and relatively good - though unfamiliar to me. Come to think of it, I guess this was the best funeral I have ever attended.

Funerals shouldn't be fun. They need to be serious and there needs to be room for grief, but I'd like it if we were able to drop all the silly traditions and fake respectfulness in all its unfortunate and even strange forms. Of course I wish everyone a good farewell to their loved ones, but can we please do with less bullshit and more casualness?

Money trouble

2010-08-14T23:39:00.013+02:00

I've recently found out that I don't care about money, not enough at least. I seem unable to ascribe the appropriate value to it, money has never been an issue in my job choices - let alone my choices in education. I just don't care for it. For example, all the work I do for the Red Cross, scouting, the COC and Humanitas, wouldn't change one bit if I received payment in money for it. It just doesn't motivate me.

Consequently, or so I tell myself, I am rubbish at controlling my spending. It's like schoolwork I am not interested in doing; postponing the effort (however tiny it may be) until the very last moment. This has landed me with four different creditors in the past year-and-a-half. They have to send me three letters urging me to pay before I feel the heat and dig into the financial stuff.

I am great at planning, I can stretch a twenty Euro bill for over a week and really know where the money is when I need it. But I just don't get it, it won't be acknowledged by my brain that that stuff is important for everything. My granddad and I were sitting on their balcony this evening, we can talk for hours, and he brought up that I should try to go where the money is in the healthcare industry. I told him I didn't care, all I care about is doing something useful with my life, something I enjoy. If that pays the bills, I am fine. A paramedic is paid very poorly, between 1800 and 2400 Euros per month. Enough to pay the bills, surely, but in no way fair appreciating the incredible work. About the same pathetic salary a teacher is paid here. It is common knowledge that 'the money' is not in the social sector. But I never even considered that.

Anyway, I am quite short at the moment, going to try and cut a deal with a government function for a cheap loan, so I get out of the worries of these creditors and the expensive bank interests. Besides, I need a little influx to get me started on nursing school, which starts next month, to pay for the (insanely expensive) books and other aspects of school apart from the actual college fee. And I also need to call a few companies and charities, to set straight some odd numbers on my bank notes. I just can't pay for charity right now...

Well, that's enough of the finance crap. Financial handiness is just another nice extra trait a future husband might be equipped with. Because, looking at my dad, I don't think I'll ever get the hang of it. Here's William West for you...
And Joseph Sayer, a guy that just screams "SEX", and you have to love that trail... I think Joseph definitely deserves a spot in the Pantheos, don't you?
And last but not least, or rather, differently: Jeff Buckley.

Robbed, Summercamp, etc.

2010-07-30T18:54:00.006+02:00

Hey guys, so I thought I'd save the month of July from not appearing on this blog for this year...

It's been a while, AGAIN, and the reason for that is that I have lost all sense of rhythm and, quite frankly, life's been a little crazy for me lately.

First of all I passed the HOC course's professionalism check the twelfth of June, or profcheck as we refer to it. (HOC is the certificate needed to be in the SIGMA, the medical assistance team for disasters for the Red Cross) It was an exam on practical skill, being given a case where the disaster victim is already on a stretcher in the supposed field hospital we set up. So it was purely assisting the paramedic and off-field medical actions we get to perform. Very basic stuff and I was far more nervous for it then necessary. But I passed it and so did my 15 fellow students, which is very rare (the previous HOC started with about the same number of students, of which only 5 made it through to the end).

Shortly after that I had two days of ambulance internships. Which were amazing, though we didn't come across a lot of interesting casualties. I really am looking forward to the academy of Nursing now... I had great colleagues who knew no bounds as to what they should or shouldn't teach me and I had a great time with them as well as with most of the patients we transported. I'm definitely at home in the sector, and think I'll go on a mission for the Red Cross, or the army if there is no other way; abroad. As a nurse of course.

Then there were all these shifts for the Red Cross and this crash-visit of a school where a boy had come out of the closet whose parents were in denial of their son's sexuality, before I got robbed on the morning of the 4th of July. I was walking home from a First Aid shift I did for the MES (not the Red Cross, a scouting-originated First Aid provider), which had kindly asked for my assistance during this pretty cool music event. We had a few brews after the event had ended and decided it would be great to go out into the city for a few more drinks. We had a ball and it was about 04:00 that I decided I had to go home because the plan was to join two other scoutsleaders in setting out the hike for the approaching Summer Camp (which was just 7 days away). I was walking, because my bike was with a repairman (and still is actually), in casual clothing (the MES doesn't have a uniform, like the Red Cross has). Around 5 I arrived at this crossing, I was almost home, when I suddenly heard running behind me. There wasn't a soul on the street besides me, so I turned around to see and I saw these two figures running towards me in white sports clothing. I didn't think too much of it, being the laconic guy I am, but afterwards some concern would have been appropriate. I was quite buzzed, mind you. So just on the crossing I was held firmly and felt something long and cold against my throat, as well as something pricking my side. One of the boys (they were about 16 y.o.) demanded repeatedly that I'd empty my pockets, so I complied by giving the guy behind me, whom I then got to realize was blond, had blue eyes and would make a great fuck; my wallet. The other guy kept demanding his demands and suddenly pulled my arm out of my left pocket (which was for some reason still there, probably shut down by adrenaline) and took my phone and knife. I bartered briefly for my keychain, which was also in the pocket, I held on to it and they didn't really answer. Then they ran off from where they had come.

I took a breath and decided looking where they would go might pose a risk and so I walked to the nearest house I could find (about ten metres away) and rang the door, thinking I had two objectives: bring myself into safety and call the police. Of course no one opened but I did hear this voice from across the main street. It belonged to this guy who must have been about my age and a girl who were just leaving their home. The guy saw the whole thing and first thought we were just messing around, because I remained so calm. I used his phone to call the cops and they gave me some water. While waiting for the cops I blocked my bank card and SIM card. When they finally arrived they took me to the nearest office and I laid down the official statement on the matter. I got home about 6:30. I mailed my fellow scoutsleaders that I wasn't really in the mood for the hike and went to bed. In the afternoon I went to my parent's home, because I needed to make a few phone calls and was in need of money.

It is strange how the sudden stress shuts down most rationality and has you fall back into just this sense of self-defence. The event really changed my view of young people and of the city I live in, where crimes like these are really rare. Or so I thought. It really pulled me into a depression for my empathatic and social self. I realized how dangerous this was for the foundation of my being. It felt like it must feel for a Christian to learn Jesus is a fake after worshipping him for 40 years. I was so certain that I lived for the good of others. Fortunately I still am. What was most shocking about it, which I still really struggle with, is the fact that one of the boys was blond. The look in his eyes as well... he didn't belong there.

I rediscovered Tom Waits...

I hope the police will take good care of him... and the other boy as well.

My mom freaked out of course. While I was sleeping over at the gay preacher's house (after a great night with him, his partner and three other boys) (nothing sexual, by the way), she came along, left one of those weird notes and a can of Pepperspray. Pepperspray is a cat.2 weapon in the Arms and Munition law of the Netherlands and it is therefore illegal to have on you. Besides that it was 5 years past the expiration date... I mailed her that I'd like for her to take the can back to wherever she had acquired it. Probably my uncle or granddad, who are/were cops.

A week later I went on the annual Summer Camp with the scouts. It was great, apart from the fact that, due to the intense heat, we were not allowed to make any fires in the open air (so we had to cook centrally and on gas), and much of the day-to-day program was lost because we needed regular breaks from the heat. Fortunately there was a river just behind our campsite where we could swim, and did swim every day. Besides the heat, we had three days of lightning storms. The first storm wrecked two of our tents, after patching those up for as far as possible we immediately strengthened the others because more bad weather was to be expected. The lightning was very intense, we even saw 'great balls of fire', being red flashes in the sky. It also tore a tree in half which crashed down near the tent where the 18+ people smoke and drink beer in the evenings. Fortunately no one was badly injured during the camp. We also watched the Dutch team lose the world soccer cup, I couldn't care less. But we did watch it with another Dutch scouting group which was stationed near our campsite who had some really gorgeous leaders on it. The last night of the camp I pulled through the night with them, strange, because everyone else of my group was long gone to bed - which is usually my part.

We had a ball, really. And there were some struggles (like a debate about whether our kids should get more than two hours of shopping instead of building a raft and floating it back to the campsite as part of the hike), but I'm not in the mood to touch upon that now. I was the main theme figure and also the main theme leader, the theme for the camp was Medical Centre East, a parody on a Dutch television series. This was also the first year when the 'old' camp staff had resigned and a new staff had arisen. I had a seat in that too.

After the summer camp I really had a week of doing hardly anything. I only went to the bank to request a new card as well as going to the police station to finish up on the report. I decided that Prince Harry was very attractive and signed up for a forum for helpers (there is no satisfactory word for the Dutch "hulpverlener", it basically encompasses First Aid, Police, Firemen, Officials, Ambulance workers, Hospitals, Trauma doctors, the SIGMA, etc.). I also picked up on my work for Humanitas, where I was a didactic coach about a year-and-a-half back.

Now the aftermath of the Summer Camp, some problems of the past year and the coming year of scouting is dominating my life. Organizing meetings and writing a lot of reports to just keep things clear and simple for everybody and arrange a good start for this season. People say I should be the 'group chairman' because of my objective look on issues and my organizational skill. What I think is that we need a chairman who actually has time to work to make things run smoothly. And I can't just leave my scouts, not yet at least. We might have to quit if no replacement for the two leaving leaders is found. The scouts have to be run by me and a fellow scoutsleader.

That's all for now. I'll find some time to write again next week.

Eat da PooPoo

2010-06-18T12:47:00.003+02:00

You've probably already heard of it, if not, sit back and enjoy the show...

My first reaction was complete disbelief. We all, often, come across extreme stupidity; few, though, rise up to the level that has just been reached. I mean, really, "like ice cream"!? It is the saddest thing that this is not comedy, but completely serious and influencing the political process of a country where over 30 million people live.

And where did this man get his title (doctor)? And in what field of study did he achieve it?

But is delightful in a way. It is so stupid it becomes funny, even though the struggle for gay rights has never been a laughing matter; and it is so perfectly reliable - the evilChristian part at least.

The first flaw in the realm of evilChristianness, is that they overgeneralize by making the traits of a fringe of the gay community into an argument to strike all gays down. They don't care about the reason people engage in sex acts that include faeces and/or fisting. Completely missing the point of gay rights.

Secondly, use of the word Sodomy. You can count on it they use that. It's probably part of their overall scare tactic (the theatrical display and the issue itself, being poop, are part of it too), because everyone knows what happened to Sodom.

Thirdly, they are remarkably well informed and are keen on showing it off - with great passion.

Lastly, the children. The "parental guidance moment" was just the beginning, at the very end the conclusion is that Barrack Obama will bring to Africa, as a human right, to eat the PooPoo of our children. Now, children are no ones possession, another very conservative error. But to insinuate that gays want the right to eat the faeces of children is just too mad for words.

The stupidity of that country is astounding, I'm not surprised the Abrahamic religions got a firm hold on it.

Someone should tell them that 'eating da poopoo' has nothing to do with homosexuality.

2010 election outcome

2010-06-10T20:18:00.002+02:00

The Dutch have cast their votes on who they think should be the government for the next 4 years. Their decision was very poor.

The left (socialist) parties lost a lot of voters. In my province, of course, people were more calm and took their time to look at the financial picture. All vital left parties lost big time, apart from the Green Leftist party. The rest of the country, especially the south, has always been very much to the right and it goes to show: the Party For Freedom (Geert Wilders' PVV) scored very high, they're the third largest party now. Of course the party is anything but liberal.

If you take a look at the Netherlands, the northern three provinces are pretty left, though in Friesland the southern edge marks the top side of the Bible Belt. Going down below Drenthe, the Bible belt continues until it reaches Germany. The middle and west of the country is mainly right, with a few sparks of red hope here and there. The absolute worst part of my country is the absolute south, where people's voting choices are right or extreme-right.

The outcome shows the clear division of our country, between left and right voters. In this economic crisis, people stop caring about single issues and (should) vote for either left or rigt. Unfortunately this doesn't occur to all people. Actually, it didn't occur to some that there even was an election, since only three quarters of the population actually turned up to do their civil duty.

On a less grumpy note, the parties with a Christian foundation took a pretty big hit. At least this bodes well for our future and proves the efforts in educating ourselves are paying off.

I do hope the right party who is going to lead my country, recognizes some of the left voters and teams up with a left party to form a government. I hope they dump Wilders and his hair-do. Unfortunately the Christian Democrats will most likely take part in the government again. My party might, the second largest part at this time, is probably not going to make it in. The Labour Party has finally shown some backbone, and it paid off; but this makes them incompatible with the right. All I can do is pray they don't include the Christian Union again...

So it's going to be 4 more of years of conservative government for the Dutch.

I'm not a democrat.

What bothers me about the system is that somewhere here, many people are wrong. There should be one party which is the best for my country, but no one seems to know which it is. This diversity causes division and suspicion. I'd rather see people actually figuring out which party is the best and elect them to form the entire government, instead of focusing on personal gain and voting for one of many parties which just happens to have won them over - in most cases, I think, completely incidental. I think a political statement is either true or false, ultimately good or bad for my country. So how can it be there is so much grey area?

The worst about this whole ordeal is that there are still religious parties in my government, the government is still going to be conservative and education and healthcare might have to bleed to help the government out of its debt.

I've been grumpy all day.

Quickie

2010-05-18T11:49:00.003+02:00

I'm off for the Northern Whitsun Camp coming friday, we had a ball in Utrecht last saturday where we celebrated Dutch Scouting's 100th anniversary with 25.000 other scouts. There was plenty of eye-candy, but to be honest, my experience of the event wasn't that great - below my expectations, which weren't high to begin with.

I've been a little sick for the past few days since that event, I feel such things coming from afar - this cold has been waiting for its chance to get to me for a week or two. Well, let's hope it is gone by friday... This afternoon I'll be off to the scoutbase to finish up on some theme materials, finish painting them that is.

The leader with whom I'll form the team for the scouts next year and I have debated the present and future problems of scouting a little and decided we'll give up when we don't have permanent assistance by Easter next year. 'Giving up' means not going to the Whitsun Camp and resigning at finishing the Summer Camp (which is with our entire scouting group, so leaders are not a problem). I'm just puzzled where to go from there... The cubs are great, but I'm not sure I want to travel to and from Groningen for them every saturday. The Explorers tend to appeal to my taste for men, but giving in to the pretty boys by becoming their leader might not be the best idea either. Though the explorers are an important group because that is where they are (supposed to be) steamed ready for leadership themselves. It would be good to have a strong leader like myself there...
I'm even considering leaving my old scouting group (which I have been a part of for almost 12 years now) for one here in Groningen. But we'll see what the future brings. I do really hope that we can keep our scouts going.
In other more cheerful news, my not-as-young friends 'the gay preacher' and his husband recently invited me for one of their other young friends' birthday. I met this stunning miller there who studies history. A very cute and butch guy (blond of course). When I was on my way to the Red Cross annual meeting before going to the party, I watched him get off the bus and remember thinking "my, that's one very cuddly kind of guy". Seeing him again reassured me: not all the best men are straight.

And I really think English should stop using capitals for the days of the week.

Update

2010-04-28T13:45:00.003+02:00

Time for an update. I've had a great weekend with the scouts, a small camp in preparation for the annual Whitsun Camp where we'll join in the 3500 scouts to create a grand scouting experience. The kids displayed a certain laziness which has been going on for years now, I talked about it with my fellow scoutsleader - with whom I make up the team for next year. He said he noticed this change in attitude as well, kids don't like doing the actual things that makes scouting scouting; and they're lazy as hell. Very different from 'our time', the significance of the change should be evident when two guys, both barely 20, talk about the past like that. So I'm not sure we're both still enjoying the scouts as much as we used to... this is a bad omen, because there is no sign of any new leaders to replace us with.

Anyway, we had a ball on Friday when we built an entire kitchen "we" being me and the other scoutsleader, and some other core members who came along. The core does very little old-school building, so I guess they welcomed this little exercise; one totally sucked at it after not doing it for a while. He didn't even get the clove hitch right (he made a half stitch with the rope around it twice)... regardless, we had fun and relaxed in the weather which was fantastic all weekend. Of course there were no children around (apart from the neighbour's kids who always hang around our work, one of them is a cub I had in the group last year), so we were free to consume alcohol - which we did. After all, the sun was out in a predominantly blue sky, there was very little wind (which rarely happens on the countryside) and we were doing relatively hard work. That evening, when we were joined by the other scoutsteam we had a meeting first and started drinking afterwards. It has been a long time since I consumed that much alcohol... we got to bed far too late.

Saturday the kids came and we were slightly disappointed by their meagre numbers, only about half turned up - seems even camping isn't cool anymore. And really, it's not us, we're trying as hard as we can to make things attractive for the kids, but they just seem more interested in their Wii's and other game consoles. We had a pretty decent meal that evening and fooled around in the forest when it got dark. At 11 the kids went to bed and we were free to drink again. We all went to bed much earlier this time and it showed the next morning. After de-constructing everything and cleaning up the field, we sent the kids home. I'm a little worried about the Whitsun Camp, if they do not deliver better work there, we might not achieve the camping-standard, which allows groups to join the Whitsun Camp.

After the camp I went home and spent two days with my family. I dislike being there so I came home a.s.a.p. Apparently, on returning, my energy company ended the contract with me so I had two days to extend the agreement or find a new one, or I'd be cut off. So I quickly went on-line, figured I wanted cheaper and guess what; I found something greener and cheaper! Now let's hope I don't get fucked, because this sounds a little too good to be true... In other news: I've joined an on-line forum on paedophilia to explore that field a bit. I've had some talks with random people about it and it seems this is another taboo-topic. Let's hope people don't get the wrong impression, because paedophiles are an ever more discriminated against group than homosexuals are in the Netherlands. Only very few are courageous enough not to reside in the shadows. In the future I want to find something on transgendered people as well, to more or less finish this journey of exploration. But one at a time is plenty for me... At least I can expect a warmer welcome at Martijn.org than I had at Stormfront.org. ; )

I hope you're all doing fine.

Parent Politics

2010-04-06T16:06:00.005+02:00

A list of parameters for a test regarding government endorsement of parenthood. I've been toying with this idea for a long time and thought it was time to put a few lines down on paper. This proposition has been spurred predominantly by the incapability of many parents to properly raise a child. Of course the definition of proper can be twisted beyond belief, so I'll just add that 'proper' is defined by rationality, empathy and humanism. If it hurts anyone, it is wrong. Quite some people I've talked to, most of them in real life (not forums), are positive towards this idea; they too see the incapable doing what is perhaps the most important job in the world.

Parameters for a questionnaire and/or a psychological evaluation:

- Financial capacity and expectancy.

Children cost money, quite a lot of it. They want to do sports, if at all possible two of them. They need education and training. They need food, clothes, entertainment, mobile phones and a personal computer. If people can not provide this, there is a problem. Most governments are ready to help people in financial trouble, especially when they have children. But this is not a desirable situation and might be wished to avoid. Of course, people can loose their jobs or make a bad move on the financial market, such things must also be taken in account when reviewing a person's financial situation. But money is not the most important part in this validation.

- Harmful physical aspects.

Of the parent (inheritable Down Syndrome), of the direct environment (living on a toxic waste dump) and of negative traits or ideologies of the parents (veganism, smoking cigarettes). Children are relatively fragile creatures, the years of their growing up shape their bodies to what they will have to deal with in adulthood. Early exposure to negative influences will show for the rest of their lives, if they even live to see adulthood. Such negatives need to be assessed, ranked and calculated. Parent's who are drug addicts form a medical risk to the child, so does living near polluting industry and not allowing medical professionals to do their job because of a personal ideology. This also concerns in-home safety, like the presence of a first aid kit and safe guards that prev

ent the child from hurting itself.

- Harmful psychological aspects.

Children are eager to learn and are wired naturally to accept anything a person of authority (an adult) tells them as being the truth. This is vital for learning what is edible and what is poisonous, for learning to recognize safety and danger. But this openness to information can be abused. Personal bias and belief of parents will always be passed on to the child in one way or another. Such cannot be prevented and is not necessarily bad. But violent or discriminatory beliefs are definitely bad. This is the case with many religions, with racial hatred, with homophobia and with disregard for altruism in general. Also, parents who are criminals, who are manically depressed, who are violent in nature and who are apathetic; form a psychological risk for the child (and perhaps a physical one also). If parents are, for instance, planning to keep the child in a baby-box all day, they are unfit. Corporal punishment is not only illegal, it is also bad for the child; parents who engage in it need to be done away with.

- Pedagogical skill and education.

Because the primary occupation of a parent is the teaching of knowledge and the shaping of personality, pedagogical skills are a necessity. Parents need to be able to teach, which requires patience and didactic skill. They need to be able to be consequent in their teaching and their own behaviour around the child. They need to be aware of what they should be learning the child and should not be opposed to teaching it. Children need to go to school and be educated to the absolute limit of their ability, not to the extent of the parent's will or financial position. At home, children need to be stimulated properly to do homework and explore more theoretic and practical knowledge on their own. The presence of educational books and Internet are mandatory.

- Individualism and indoctrination.

Every human being has a mind of his own, and this is something we need to stimulate and be appreciative of. Individualism needs to be a part of the parent's lifestyle and needs to be affirmed as an ideology they support. Nothing is worse than a person who can not think for him or herself, this skill, arrogance and independence needs to be trained. What is the absolute opposite of individualism is making choices for the child, if at all possible this should be avoided at all times. This involves indoctrinating the child into a personal belief, like a religion or a lifestyle. Of course cultural values and ethics need to be presented and explained, but they should not be proclaimed to be absolute and should definitely not be enforced by claiming the child will go to hell for not abiding to such laws. That would bring us to the point of harmful psychological aspects. An interest in the arts and diversity should be motivated and rewarded.

- Critical thinking, IQ, EQ and rationality.

In order to be satisfied with the parent's ability to conceive the above listed parameters and to be able to say that the parent will maintain a proper course of action in raising the child; the mental capability of the parent can be examined and scored. This can involve a simple test which calculates the person's rational ability and emotional sensitivity and correctness. Critical thinking is a result of the IQ and rationality, but is also a mindset. Not so much vital, but certainly a good indicator of the quality of the decisions the future parent will make.

Now, of course these parameters could be taken to the extreme and could also be degraded sufficiently to completely avoid the functioning of an exam like this. But that is true for all kinds of methods and sets of requirements. Most of all, parents need to be made aware of the huge responsibility they take upon themselves by having a child; too often this happens without planning and without actual consideration of the importance of parental capability. Basically I'd love to see this be enacted and witness it functioning. It doesn't even have to be enforced, just be like a governmental approval of the parenthood; perhaps encouraged by a financial benefit like a subsidy. Obviously, the aim is to make the world a better place, or at least a country or two; and this would be one possible way to help achieving that.

The worst thing

2010-04-05T23:03:00.004+02:00

The worst thing I know, is unnecessary suffering.

I just can't stand it. It's a feeling far worse than encountering another expression of human stupidity. I'm not sure what to call this emotion, it may be regret, or perhaps it is disgust. But it is strong and I think this lies at the core of my empathy, for not just humans, but for everything. If it can suffer, and I'll define 'suffer' right up, it deserves my respect and heartfelt care.

Suffering exists of three things. One is the capability to experience physical and emotional pain. Two is registering that pain. Three is dealing with that registered pain, as in psychological trauma and stress. If something suffers, I want to help it. I don't think it is supposed to be called a weakness, of course the idiot masculine indoctrinates will say it is; but I think it is humanity. Altruism, this kind of empathy, enables us to define what is right and what is wrong. We don't need God or other people telling us what is right and what is wrong. Do wrong to none.

The second worst thing is the second half of the series of Star Wars, episodes 4, 5 and 6.

This post will seem short, and I agree: it is. But I've been drinking this gorgeous wine, called Guillaume (which happens to be the name of my first and so far only pupil of the didactic coach job I had with Humanitas); a Merlot from le pays d'oc. And I'm loving it. In other news: the sidebar has finally been updated with more blond men, hurray!

Mormons

2010-03-28T18:46:00.008+02:00

Today I had a service for the Red Cross again, a Golf & Lifestyle event. Basically just a bunch of snobs congregating to talk to each other and incidentally buy some expensive shit on the way. It was very small and we had nothing to do all day - just one of the employees who had a large infection on his right foot as a result of blisters he had treated himself, which he obviously didn't do right. We had him see a doctor, so really hardly actual action for us.

This day started with me waking up, putting on the coffee machine and laying out bread from the freezer to thaw ready for breakfast. It was 10:15 AM, or so I thought... I checked my mail and went to a forum to continue arguing in some thread about how God is an arrogant prick. For no particular reason I checked my desktop clock and it told me the time was 11:30, the shift started at 12. So I checked my alarm clock, which displayed 10:30. It appears I, as happens every year, again forgot to switch back to Summer time as part of the yearly DST routine. So I rushed the rest of my waking up process, taking a shower and shoving some bread into my body. I completely forgot about the coffee, which happens quite often. So I took the bus half an hour ahead of schedule and arrived only fifteen minutes late. There was no problem, fortunately.

While in public transport, I had to switch from one bus to the other. That stop at which I switch is across the road from an LDS church. I remember how I put a balloon on their fence once, which said "don't worry, be happy". Noticing that it was sunday, the lot was filled with bikes and cars. I was amazed that so many people still live a delusion like that.

During the shift me and my partner talked about religion for a bit, she told me of a parent from her school which kept going on about how homosexuality is bad. Perhaps she went on about this because she knows I'm gay, but regardless, she ended with the notion that we respect their religious beliefs, and so they should respect other people as well. We also talked about how a kid in her class couldn't do a lot of things because he had Mormon parents, how even Mother's Day can't be celebrated. It's absurd, really.

Then in the bus on my way back home, as I got in I crossed the two young men, who looked very sharp in neat suits with nice ties. They were about my age, perhaps a year younger, two at most. I smiled at them because they were cute, they smiled back. But then I saw the black name tag, placed perfectly on each of their jackets. I knew enough and I'm not sure they noticed, but my face must have had DISAPPOINTED written all over it.

While sitting a few seats behind them, disappointment soon made way for sadness and compassion. Such attractive, undoubtedly nice young men, in that uniform. I'd let them in for a little talk if they were to knock on my door, just to try to comfort them or perhaps even talk some sense into them. The redhead (my favourite of course) was particularly cute... they seemed such nice boys. Above all, good people should be free to do what their heart tells them to do, not be imprisoned by religious law (and belief).
I'm not sure why they weren't sitting next to each other but chose to keep the path in between them. It's a pity the bus wasn't more stuffed with people, I'd have asked to sit beside one of them in that instance. It hurts to imagine how hard it must be to have your heart in the right place, but be indoctrinated into the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It reminded me of my Christian days.

The LDS church seems pretty accepting towards homosexuality in the Netherlands. European LDS churches seem stunned that the headquarters in Utah is so focused on everything involving sexuality instead of a broader approach to the world's 'problems', which Europeans think are hunger, crime, poverty, etc. But I wish I could just have an open talk with those people, just to try to help them help themselves.

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P.P. Due to some further exposure to Mormonism today, I figured I could go ahead and investigate a little more. Just like I've done with Scientology a year or so ago, I'm going to try and get my hands on an English version of the Book of Mormon and see what it's really about - though it obviously is more than just scripture that makes up (this) religion.

Hip Hop Netherlands 2010

2010-03-23T13:06:00.012+01:00

Last Sunday I had a double double shift, I had two shifts in a row and had to be in two places at the same time for the Red Cross. Volunteers are hard to find everywhere, but First Aid medics need to be present at larger events. So I split my time between the home and garden event and the Dutch Hip Hop championships. The home and garden event had me covering it for the past three days, starting thursday, with little (read: NO) real first aid need. Just a few plasters. It always gets me mixed feelings, of course I don't want to people to be injured, but I hate sitting and walking around all day with nothing (exciting) to do. It won't surprise you the Hip Hop got me out of that boring routine of handing out plasters and pointing people towards the toilets.

It started off with this adult performer who had got his finger between the door post and the door, very painful I'm sure, but he got it when we weren't there yet and someone else bandaged him. They just put a swab over it with some plaster holding it in place. Not real first aid work, so I got to do it better. The wound was looking good, the patch of skin seemed well attached to the finger and there was hardly any dirt to be seen. So I put some decent bandaging skills to work and off he went. The second big case was a distress call about a girl lying on the floor with vaginal bleeding. Red lights always go off when young children are involved and this was no exception. I was on my feet when one of my colleagues answered the phone; he sent an older female to help me, because this could involve the vulva of the young child. Fortunately, when we arrived, adults had already laid her down and apparently did some damage control using toilet paper. Clearly we were called much later, since the kid used the double railing of a stairs as a slide, which was located far from where she was now - and on a different floor. Immediately we had someone call an ambulance and by the looks of the kid she was not in serious trouble. She had her clothes on when we arrived and clearly wasn't gushing blood - so we just calmed her down as well as the stressed adults surrounding her. As the initial terror drew away her face got some colour back and she started talking more vividly. I left her with the adults whom I instructed to stay calm and keep talking to her until the paramedics took over. My female colleague remained, but also left when the paramedics arrived. It turned out the kid needed some stitches and was in no significant danger. But I never take risks when kids are involved.

On entering the shift for Hip Hop, I was sceptical. Hip Hop is one of the very few sorts of music I dislike passionately, but fortunately it turned out to be more about dancing than the dreadful music. Of course there still was some crappy music, but most dancing was to good tunes. I loved it, and had I known it was a dancing event, I would never have chosen to do the home & garden ordeal. I love dance performances, and some were really good, comparable to the LXD even. Of course the two teams I liked most didn't win, one got third place but I forgot their name, the below was my first choice actually, but they didn't make it to the top three who are to go to the USA for the world championship. The team which won was dreadful for all I cared, they won on previously earned respect and fame, I reckon.

This wasn't the real performance they did, it had some elements of the above in it. I couldn't find a video with the actual performance, so it's just a taste of what it was like.

In other news, I just returned from two days of educating young people about homosexuality in Emmen, which is an hour and a half from where I live in Groningen. My apartment is stuffed with first aid material for Scouting, so I'll spend some time soon to update the coffers which have been neglected for over three years. I passed the first theoretical exam for the SIGMA (disaster relief by the Red Cross) and am looking forward to the coming lessons which are finally turning to medical stuff (the most recent lessons was on human anatomy, which I loved). This bodes well for my future career as a nurse, I seem to like the medical field more than civil engineering. Humans are so much more interesting than tarmac or concrete or dykes (not lesbians)...

And I just wanted to mention that I have never felt as insulted in my life as when I read that a US ex-general said the Srebrenica mission failed because the Dutch military had openly gay men serving in the ranks. Utter nonsense, but it did hurt. Besides that, congratulations to all Americans, your president has done something useful. Let's hope there's going to be more of that in the coming months.

Congress of Integrative Psychiatry

2010-03-10T22:02:00.005+01:00

Today I spent 10,5 hours working for the Red Cross, on a first aid shift like I do them all the time. This time it was a congress for people in the psychology/health business, on Integrative Psychiatry. My first question was what Integrative Psychiatry is, turns out it is regular psychiatry with the integration of alternative and complementary ways of healing. This was the 4th congress and the theme was Self-healing. The point made was that apart from solely focusing on the human body and mind as a machine, with separate parts, a physician should look at the human body as a complicated and interconnected function of all involved parts. Concerning the 'theme' it told us to also equip the body of the patient to combat illness, aside curing the illness at hand, since many illnesses return or are chronic. This way of practising psychiatry is of course subject to the principles of Evidence Based Medicine and is not just conjuring up a remedial; Integrative Psychiatry binds itself to protocols, making sure critical needs get served first. We had several plenary sessions with several speakers, of which two from the USA, whose names I can't remember. But they were damn good, a man and a woman. They appeared to be famous...

But there were also three Tibetan monks. Now, there were two workshop sessions and one workshop was given by the lama's. After sitting out the first session just talking with the ladies of the garderobe, I thought it would be interesting to see what the lama had to tell us. I was deeply disappointed. They started of nice with explaining the profitability of meditation. Then they stopped doing it nicely and started explaining what their culture was about. I was neutral toward them at that point. But it only got worse... When they started doing the session with the 40-or-so people in the theatre, it soon became evident that this was 99% bullshit and 1% meditation. I mean, they call the genital area the "secret shaka" or something, and they were calling to all these elements, which represented syllables, which represented shapes and colours, which represented astrological connections and ancient mothers. It turned out to be a complete waste of time and the only relief I got in that hour and a half of sheer boredom and agitation, was a kind-of-cute blond technician who joined his fellow technician behind the sound board. My colleague was sleeping after fifteen minutes. I kept up watching the awful show, wearing a very critical face and being very disappointed in all those physicians in the front rows (we sat in the back, indicating we were not there to join in).

Now, maybe this voodoo stuff about healing the world by meditating has some purpose to psychiatrists; but that doesn't mean you have to hug the lama afterwards, or completely join in the 'world healing' making all those preposterous sounds and waving your arms around. I mean: how is that helping the world? And the text of the prayer, was horrible. It was all about world peace, global warming, etc. etc. Great stuff, but not to pray for, stuff to actually do something about. The religious bullshit was too much for me, what little hope I had for Buddhists to be interesting people, is now vanished.

All in all the shift was way too long and way too little happened. I got to deliver one plaster on someone's finger, who was not even one of the psychiatrists but someone who worked for the place we had the congress. Not that I enjoy seeing people in agony or pain because of injury; but I do like to help them with injuries, and basically, that's what we were there for. 10,5 hours without any action, of course we were there and IF something happened we would have been able to respond quickly and professionally; but nothing happened... again.

Don't get me wrong: it was hugely interesting and I've enjoyed the plenary sessions a lot, but the lama's and the lack of first aid action were disappointing. Besides, I didn't get much sleep the past couple of days, so I might not be as appreciative of the congress as I should be, just yet.

This is awesome, if you do porn, try this on. You know how I love blonds, and this is just perfect, I was stunned at how many of my favourite actors are in this movie! Very hot, great stuff and it's raw - which only adds up to the hotness.

Talking of which, this is pretty awesome too.

Bloody hell

2010-03-08T22:40:00.004+01:00

It's time for a little update.

Employment is still not including me and this leaves me waiting for September. Lately I seem to be forgetting a lot of shit, some important shit too. I need rhythm in life... So anyway, scouting, the red cross, SIGMA, and life at large has been going on regardless.

I'm working on the textbook for the big theory exam coming thursday, I already did a test exam, a kind of preview; which was really easy. So I'm confident about passing this test, I'm just afraid I turn out too critical or cautious during the test - something which happens a lot - and start to undermine the questionnaire itself. That has to do with insecurity on my part, I think. I'm either too bad or too thorough, or a mix, about theoretic questions. But seen the general intellect of the fellow students for SIGMA, and the material so far - the theory I need to learn - is nothing to worry about. The only downside is that it is very dry stuff, nothing exciting, certainly nothing medical about it. But of course, this is still critical stuff so I have to study. I think our group is growing nice and tight, there are about three guys moving toward the leader position, so to speak. In every social setting, there is this hierarchy, so far we've been able to keep the domination race away and maintain social control under three guys. I prefer keeping social power decentralized.

On another matter, there is this incredibly cute guy among them. I think he's a crossing between red and blond (perfect), he has the most amazing smile and an excellent personality. He is shorter than I am and a fellow scout. He's a cubscout leader, in the SIGMA, about to study nursing, drinks his coffee black and strong (like me) and he's a blood donor. Our similarities are stunning. But, he smokes and donates blood. Now I don't really mind smokers, but it is unhealthy - and by being a smoker I don't mean an occasional cigar, I mean cigarettes on a daily basis. And the blood donor thing, I recently caught myself making an excellent parallel: I compared donating blood as a gay man with Don't Ask Don't Tell. Gosh, these little sparks of brilliance... Anyway, the fact that he's a blood donor can mean three things: he's straight (or bi), exactly like me and a DADT donor, or a virgin (gay men are not excluded from donation, men who have sex with other men are). But anyway, I really like him, I'm so looking forward to this year's Whitsun Camp, where we're bound to meet up.

Talking of which, we're getting in full swing for the preparations. One of the meetings of those preparations and a meeting about our scouting website, are two of the things I failed to remember going to. But another meeting has been simplified enormously last saturday. The meeting is about our scouts group and what it will look like next year (after the summer break). There are many subjects to discuss, but one of them has vanished: who will be the new scoutmaster? Right now there's a woman at the head of our leader's team, but she'll quite next season. The immediate person to jump in as replacement did not please me and my fellow male scoutsleader, our solution is me. Fortunately that (female) instant replacement has told us last saturday that she will resign as a scoutsleader next season. While avoiding an unpleasant talk during the planned meeting, we are now short one scoutsleader next seasons. We already found replacement for the current scoutmaster, but this new break is leaving us one scoutsleader short. Volunteers are short everywhere, so I hope we'll find someone before next season.

My 12th donation of half a litre of blood is a fact since last thursday evening. And I'm not sleeping around so I don't see any problem. Apart from the lack of men in my life. And of course the stupid regulations. But those are really just a matter of time and condoms, or rather the use of condoms.

Recently family has brought some more of 'those' problems to my door. I've recently been cut off from mobile phone traffic (I'm having a fight with my abusive capitalist provider) and, coincidentally, from mail traffic (changing from one provider to a better provider). In response to my lack of response, my mom went ballistic. I've spent a weekend with my older friends (the preacher and his husband, who never married) helping them out with an internal move, their master bedroom moved downstairs, after another grand evening with their company. During this ordeal I was not at home and so not capable of responding to email. I decided to stay an extra day to help them out with that move, I was also eager to see a very distinct figure come 'round, a kind of heterosexual queen, who is into the outdoors and whom I have a great connection with. Apart from him, there was this relation of theirs working around the house, an incredibly attractive man, who must be around 40, 45 years old. He helped with the move and some other stuff too. Anyway, it boils down to my mom not being able to get in touch with me for about five days and therefore going into a state of alert similar to the US after Al Qa'ida farts in their direction. She called the COC, the Red Cross and the two men I had been with that weekend. I only realized what had been going on when my dad arrived on tuesday, to see if I was still alive. My dad has his moments of brightness where he is just as dry and direct as I am, so I was surprised to see him turn up like that just because of the antics of my mother. Shortly after his visit my new modem arrived and I hooked my PC back up to the internet. I read through quite the collection of worried e-mails from my mother and some e-mail from the affiliations she had been calling to see if they knew whether I was still here. The issue has been resolved, I've had a healthy chat with her last weekend and have spent last saturday's morning with the two guys again, fixing the last few things after the move of the master bedroom - with whom I always have wonderful talks.

That's all for today. I'll just include a boy because it has been a while. Tomorrow I have to get up early for a class I have to teach about homosexuality. Jokingly I've started calling our branch of the COC organization the 'recruitment team'. Not all teachers at schools we visit seem to get the joke, or find it offensive. Fortunately I don't care about hurting their feelings: they are wrong and adult, so they shouldn't be closed minded about such things - it's not like I am shaking their established foundation of belief, like a deity... Anyway, goodnight to you all.
I can not thank you enough for the attention, but especially the care, you give me. I show my appreciation far too little...

The Essence of Free Information

2010-02-19T18:54:00.004+01:00

Before I start, I'd like to announce that the "parallel blog" is now no longer on air. The same goes for Dutchism, the old blog which I kept up for emotional reasons, both are now no longer available. The philosophybyme blog is integrated into this one, Dutchism (as well as the other one) is saved on my computer. The reason for this is simple: the division between politics and play was made because parts of my life were better not associated with the open homosexuality and eroticism of this blog, yet I did wish for a broader public to view my ideas and opinions. This sentiment has changed, in that I now would rather be open about everything.

Coming out of the closet has been a gradual move for me, I have always maintained a subtle approach as to not receive too shocking responses. The fear of such responses has left me and now this blog will be all there is to me, for as far as "blogging" is concerned. I know of few bloggers who keep, or wish to keep I should say, different blogs apart. I have quite a history of this tendency, but as I may have been warned for by many, it is futile. The Internet is big and information is everywhere. This blog has been accompanied by a warning page concerning the 'objectionable content' which an unprepared mind might find unsuitable for his or her personal feelings, and who would want to hurt the personal feelings of complete strangers? A consequence to this is the removal of the older warning directly attached to this blog. The remarks on the commenting antics of people will remain enforced, so anonymous comments, disproportionally rude comments and stupid comments will still be removed. People will only not be warned for this - I believe it is time the people of the world learned some ethics, including ethics which apply to use of the Internet.

The Parallel Post Notifications will not be removed. Though it would be logical to delete the announcement of a philosophy-only related post since the provided link is out of business; Parallel Post Notifications were not always limited to the sterile set-up I had in mind for them. Fickle as my blogging behaviour is, plenty of these posts were accompanied with a short notice, an update, or whatever else I considered interesting at that time. It would be a shame to loose such content; and quite frankly, I am too lazy to adjust all posts that are concerned here. You might notice my English is rather lengthy today, that is because I am enjoying writing this quite a lot at the moment; and I have had several glasses of wine which are obviously kicking in at the moment. I apologize for any disturbance, and I warn you: the following post, right below this wall of text, was written in the same breath as this.

As was mentioned in the first post of this blog, the content of 'Dutchism' is still available by request. After all, what a fool I would be to destroy the memory, which is one so exact, of my unruly past as a teenager who found the Internet, Porn, Christ, the fallacy of Christ, and the merit of expressing your feelings to the world - but still remain anonymous in a sense.

The Pantheios will be updated as soon as possible, as I'm having some difficulties with the Blogger services. It may be me, my computer, or the service - but I'm expecting it to work eventually... ...or rather, I hope it will. Because that will make the sidebar even longer, I'll allow for more posts to be displayed on one page. After all, it looks silly to have a huge sidebar but no content where it is aside from, no?

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In a world where information can be shared as swiftly, efficiently and accurately as in ours, people's valuing of information grows strongly. Before the internet, information was restricted to that what was available in libraries - documents - and in word. Modern education was perhaps the first step in this revolution on the value of theoretic information. And by that I mean words, texts; not the whole scala of kinds of information. By boldly claiming, as educators generally do, that they have the truth; people naturally became suspicious. Modern education invites that suspicion into the classroom, allowing young people to discover criticism, scrutinizing before themselves what is to be considered truth, and what is to be considered false. Creating small freethinkers, as they might have been called by the old garde, who fear all reality that seems uncomfortable; or rather sceptics. And what a great and encouraging view it is, to see scepticism rise from an insult to a word of stature, of significance. Because really, the individuals of our species that matter, are those who are not afraid to distinguish themselves, but also those who stand firm enough to doubt what information is fed to them. A sceptical approach to all information, might leave one without any reality to base anything on; but no one says sceptics are irrational people. We can never know everything, and as fate would have it, one of those ever shrouded things seems to be the very foundation of the world that we are a part of. Of course no one in their right mind would remain steadfast at the argumentum ad ignorantiam. There will always be things which cannot be proven because of lack of evidence, and/or be disproved by lack of evidence. This doesn't mean we should stay put in the middle, remaining neutral about everything. Someone who is senseless might find that appealing, but fortunately, most people do have a pretty good hunch when a proposition is absurd and truth can be reasonably established. Learning how to scrutinize truth from fallacy, has enabled us; and by 'us' I mean the larger public, not a handful of enlightened figures of science as in the time of Copernicus; to truly appreciate knowledge. We have all become philosophers, our natural eagerness to learn new things has led us to the point where nothing has to be a 'mystery' to anyone; the intellectually challenged aside. We have started to love information, and this bodes well for our race.

However, the established powers, namely governments and religions; powerhouses to control people; have long before concluded that the masses are no longer masses when each individual, becomes a true individual and becomes informed and skilled at processing information - valuing information as valid or invalid. It is as clear as crystal: if you want to control people by means of a placebo, you have to make sure they don't realize it's a placebo. Governments and religions are all placebo's, certain forms of government left aside... They both give the participating individual, or at least intend to give him, the feeling that he is correct in following it (and its orders). Yet this is by far not always the case. Of course religion is bullshit by definition, and popular governments (that are in function at this moment) are all far from optimal. But they do persist. Why?

My guess is, that they persist because the masses are still not trained enough in being objective, in being critical towards all that they are being told. But as I said earlier, I believe we are in a progressive motion, I believe people will more and more become sceptics and critics of all authorities. And this is very important, because if a system of power is afraid of change, if it is conservative, it must have something to hide. If we are discouraged to be critical of those that have power over us, that power prevents errors from coming to light, and thereby prevents becoming a more suitable system of power.

To prevent a system of power from becoming unsuitably oppressive, and avoiding of progress; it is important that the public, those the system is meant to serve, is not restricted in access to information. All information, no matter what it is, needs to be available to everyone. Of course artistic rights need to be protected - otherwise there would be very little artists left; but especially scientific information, political information and otherwise significant information needs to be shared with the public. There can be no such thing as a CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT. If something is classified, the system of power is screwing up. Of course, there is one exception.

If it concerns war, and the enemy is so dangerous or other circumstances lead to the wish of a surprise attack or anything else that requires some kind of hushing of information distribution; I can perfectly see why something needs to be held secret from the larger public. But only until the battle is done. And under no circumstances can anything else be a secret. It serves no purpose other than deceiving the public from the wrong a system is doing. Which is, obviously, wrong.

It is essential, for any form of a system of power, be it a business, a government, or an organization; to share all information with everyone. Keeping the people in the dark about things, is plainly criminal. And it is a way of controlling people's perception which is already failing because of the new generation of people who are fervently scrutinizing every entity that exerts any kind of power. Like cutting in the education budget of a country, keeping information from people is a very stupid thing to do as a government. It is criminal, because it basically deceives people who might have chosen differently if they had known alternatives and/or all information accompanying a prevailing system.

If a system of power is keeping information from you, this is a pretty clear hint that something is wrong and that it needs to be met with.

Obama's Nobel Prize

2010-02-13T19:41:00.006+01:00

This post is very late, but it is only at this moment that I appear to realize Barack Obama has received the Nobel Peace Prize. I'm a little shocked, because I have no idea why he has received it.

I have watched his entire speech at the prize ceremony, but I really don't understand why it is he who receives it. My suspicion that any large prize, like the Emmy's or the Nobel prizes, is primarily given by the hand of political concern, not the concern of who really deserves the prize. I hate how he says "But make no mistake; evil does exist in the world." because it is the stupid and irrational explanation for wrong-doing of people. People don't do wrong because they are evil, evil isn't inherent in people, people do evil, because they have grown up in a wrong environment. It is the government and culture of people that is the cause of bad acts by its people. "The soldiers courage and sacrifice is full of glory, expressing devotion to country, to cause, to comrades in arms, but war itself is never glorious." only expresses and thereby affirms America's militarism. Using empty terms like 'glorious', and 'devotion'; devotion to what? Peace? You're kidding me.

The American 'peace-wars' are criminal, because they are the aggressors, the invaders. It should be suspicious enough that the UN is not in the Iraq war. And what is this talk about adherring to international law? If America was abiding international law, America would not have weapons of mass destruction. "America's commitment to global security will never waver..." His next words seem right, but he ends up saying America cannot do this alone, because they are too weak; not because their jurisdiction is limited. America isn't a militia that is allowed to be defensive against other countries, 'defensive' meaning 'aggressive'. Only a full, international forum, like the UN, can be ascribed such powers. NATO is a similar militia, a bunch of armed countries pretending to be the police of the world. They're not much different from the Michigan Militia, just larger. Obama keeps on saying that America needs to uphold certain rules of ethics during war, because that separates them from those they fight and, I think, would somehow justify the American aggression. But those ethics are hard to see through the smoke of secret military prisons, abuse of prisoners of war, the throwing off cliffs of cute puppy dogs and the neglect concerning the military status quo, concerning homosexual men. The immaturity of the American army, is certain to maintain its lack of ethics.
Militarism is probably an equal threat of old to mankind, as religion is. They're both completely stupid, immature and barbaric. It seems to be the people who are most likely to call the good ones beast-like, but ask yourself: is accepting our natural heritage more animalistic, or would the violent fear of other human beings be more of what the stone age must have been like?

Bottom line is: Obama's 'change' sounded swell, but we're still waiting to see the results. He is an American Democrat, in that he is a New Republican. Conservative as hell, his first months in office have lost him much of his worshippers, and I'm not just talking about the gay community he's kept waiting too long. Change will come, as it always does in the evolution of the world and its societies; but I wonder who it is we should thank for it.

It seems we nowadays prize people who are least wrong, instead of those who are most good.

The Amazing Atheist, my favourite straight fatty; I recommend watching this.

Ryan Doyle

2010-02-04T23:27:00.009+01:00

As you may or may not have noticed, the Trinity Of Blondes is no more. I guess it is only natural, to go from mysticism, to polytheism, to monotheism, to whateverism. So I'll now sport a Pantheon in the sidebar, with an unnumbered collection of men I'd love to have, be it for pay, for a night or for life. Each of the new boys will be accompanied with generous introduction. Before anything happens I'll need to find the time to actually update the sidebar; I'm a bit of a mess these days...

Unemployment is more exhausting than it sounds.

The SIGMA (disaster relief) course is getting better every day. This Saturday I spent the whole day learning how to rapidly get up a field hospital, we call it the 'wounded nest'. It has to be done in 15 minutes, includes a large tent, up to 8 beds, lights, a field generator, heating, administration table, medical kits and incidental extras, like burn kits, an extra opening, extra tables, etc. My team (we split the course group up in two teams that day) beat the first team and the standing record of 12:48 with 12:15. The group is getting tighter, I like this progress.

Anyway, a little snack I came across just now: Ryan Doyle. I was looking for music, an interest spurred by this video of the incredibly cute Tyler. I hadn't found the musician yet, but stumbled upon a very different kind of artist under the same name. Ryan does sort of what equally gorgeous William West does: gymnastics. Only he does it outside the gym and on the theatre that is the everyday street. I'm not sure what to call this kind of sports, but it sure is great to look at. Ryan helps a lot too, in that respect. I love how his eyes are tucked away under a prominent forehead, how cute it makes him look. His body is incredible, for as far as I can tell. And I'm not sure what to make of this picture...It appears he's an actor, a nice collection of images is here. Completely office safe, unless you don't want to be spotted browsing hot blond guys. Gorgeous, isn't he? Noticing what he does for a living, I think having a nurse as a boyfriend seems very fitting, and wise.

200th post!

2010-01-22T23:51:00.002+01:00

Reproducing

2010-01-20T21:53:00.003+01:00

Ever since I grew up enough to think about it, I've thought of children - and not having them. I spend a lot of time around young humans, at scouting, ranging from the age of 6 or 7 to the less cute but more interesting age of14 and up. Children often push it too far, looking for boundaries. I can't say they irritate me, because they don't cross my real boundary, they cross the superficial boundary me and the other leaders uphold. When they cross the 'safe line', we correct them. This should prevent them from going too far, for real. I accepted for myself that children are a bitch, they cost a lot, take a lot of energy, effort, and what do you get in return?

I think many people limit themselves to one-dimensional thinking like that. Missing the point that, perhaps, children are not a tool for self-gain, but an objective in themselves. Like an opposite of money, which is far too often seen as a goal, instead of the means to something different than currency. Where the goal of having children comes from beats me. I don't know. It might be instinct, it might be because I just like children, or because I like to care for things. I've argued several times that gay men have gay sex, because that sex is a natural (though futile) attempt at reproduction. That is what humans are wired up for, we desire sex, in a certain form, because we want to reproduce. Dressing up in latex and being crapped upon doesn't count as that 'certain form' of sex, of course. Such would just be the decadence of mankind, the result of our seemingly inherent sloth. Reproduction comes at play in more aspects of our live, in the choice of partners, altruism and personal fitness.

I was giving a course on homosexuality for a class in Assen, a city much shittier than Groningen, on a Christian school. Besides having a minor family reunion with a niece who happened to sit in class (whom I failed to recognize completely), the ladies in class asked me whether I'd like to have children. Rather stunned by this question which wasn't about gay sex or gay acceptation, I muttered "yes, very much." To which all the girls went "awww!" I blushed and my fellow presenter was smiling ear to ear. I guess I wasn't prepared for this topic, though I handled it pretty well and went on explaining how gays and lesbians cán have children. Up until yesterday I held the option of foster-parenting in front of me; taking (temporary) care of children from dysfunctional homes or from other unsuitable backgrounds.

Apart from donating blood every 3 months and donating anything they could possibly need after I die in a hospital, I've been toying with the thought of donating sperm. This 'toying' has been going on for several years, since I first got in touch with the subject; becoming more seriously this past year (2009). Yesterday it sprang to mind again and I looked some stuff up on the internet. It was hard to find information, perhaps why I failed to do it earlier. I took it to the First Aid course in Leens, which involves me in public transport for about 45 minutes. Just enough time to read the 8 pages of the brochure. It appears the hospital which accommodates my bloodbank, also has a place for artificial insemination and a small sperm bank.

So I'm seriously considering being a sperm-donor. They need people to do it, it doesn't hurt (unlike that damn needle at the bloodbank) and it is without risk. They do pay people a small 'compensation' of 25 euros (cash) on top of travelling costs, which I find unethical, but we'll see what can be arranged about that. Perhaps they'll explain it's because they don't want us to please ourselves for five days up to the donation. I can deal with summer camps, which are 9 days long, so 5 should be easy. Regardless, there is a huge intake process, involving a medical examination, questions and blood tests. But it may be worth it.

Donating sperm anonymously is illegal in the Netherlands, because it is unfair to the children who want to find their biological parent. A donor remains anonymous to the requesting family or single woman, but the resulting child will be allowed access to personal information of the donor at 14 and 16. At 14 the child only receives some personality traits, to get a general idea. At 16, the child gets the whole package and a meeting can be arranged between the biological father and the child (if desired by both parties). Reading this yesterday evening, sort of motivated me. The (slight) level of authority over frozen embryo's also pleased me, since, if they are not used, can be destroyed, used for scientific testing or for stem-cell production. I have no problem with either, so that's good too. My blood may also be used for scientific testing instead of 'saving lives' more directly. The brochure cleared a whole lot up, and really made me want to do this.

But somehow something feels bad. Or unfair. It may be because I fear they'll ask about my sexual behaviour, like the bloodbank does. If it's on paper that won't be a problem, but in person, stuff gets more difficult. I am a terrible liar. Besides the fact that it's wrong to discriminate when pointless, it is also wrong to distrust volunteers. Many people do this, in the Red Cross as well, I don't see why. Perhaps people are anxious about this strange phenomenon where individuals give something to a complete stranger, without wanting something in return. Selflessness seems scary, because people are unfamiliar with it.

Perhaps something seems off because I am secretly hoping to meet some offspring, or because I am satisfying my need to reproduce. But that doesn't seem like a bad thing. I do a lot for other people, but, what have I done for me lately? I mainly think I want to do this to pass on my genes, secondarily to help other people with their wish for children. I don't think I will drop the thought of being a foster parent - quite the contrary, this might motivate me even more.

Perhaps it's just this nasty cold I caught...

We'll see how this turns out. I'll keep you posted.

Cucumber

2010-01-07T16:15:00.004+01:00

The cucumber (Cucumis sativus) is a widely cultivated plant in the gourd family Cucurbitaceae, which includes squash, and in the same genus as the muskmelon.

I went to Leeuwarden today, the capital city of the province of Fryslân, where the Frisians live. I used to go to school there, but as you know, I'm switching. However simple it seems to not go to school anymore, it seems one needs to go there still to make final arrangements. It's like working for someone who is already dead.

Anyway, on my way, in the bus to the central train station of Groningen, there was this woman. Now women usually bother me, with their appearance. Their pathetic attempts at looking sophisticated, makes them all the more sluttish. But sometimes there is more, like when I was sitting in the train later, and this woman, who looked like Ankie van Grunsven, was talking to the woman on the other side of the bench. She was a Frisian, obviously. Now, we call this phenomenon a 'paardebek', a horse's mouth. Basically it's any mouth which upper row of teeth excessively overreaches the lower row of teeth. But it especially concerns women, and a particular voice they produce. They speak from the back of the throat, making a gnawing sound - sort of like Sarah Palin, but worse - and the best part is when they are in a completely trivial conversation with another woman. I wished I didn't loose my MP3 player...

This blog post has been kicking around in my head for a while now, and I thought of it again while in that bus on my way to the station. There was this woman, who came sitting next to me, with an odour on here I had smelled before. It is not a human odour, which I by definition find unappealing on a human. It was the smell of cucumber.
Now I'm not a specialist when it comes to making people smell good, but I know what I like, and have been provided with a reasonably capable brain to make some sense out of this. Perfume only serves two purposes: making you more attractive, and making you more attractive. The first way it makes someone more desirable, is by reducing their personal odour, especially the smell of sweat seems to put people off. This amazes me, because almost all young people I know, shower every morning and shower after they have worked out. So why are they afraid of spreading that ghastly stench? But that's beside the point. The other way it makes them more attractive is by smelling good. So the perfume doesn't just deodorize, it applies a pleasant smell too. The most effective way of smelling good, especially to potential partners, is by adding pheromones to a perfume that is mainly neutral. Of course you hide the pheromones in another smell, like one of those weird Axe perfumes, or whichever other odour can't be categorized; or you'd be back on the first active ingredient, which was making you smell less like a human being - which is what pheromones smell like.

Now maybe my homosexual senses were unaware of any female pheromones, but cucumber, really? I mean, the sour stench of rotting roses is bad enough, but to smell like a walking vegetable!? Beats me.

What baffles me even more, is what the woman must have thought in the store where she bought this. Of course she first smelled it, you always smell a perfume before you buy it (unless you've had it before), what was on her mind that made her buy it? Perhaps she was doing a temp job in a vegetable store, and wanted to blend in. I can see no other explanation for this eau d' concombre.

I never understood women.

Parallel Post Notification

2009-12-21T00:31:00.001+01:00

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[PARALLEL POST NOTIFICATION: "Conformity"]

http://philosophybyme.blogspot.com/2009/12/conformity.html

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Conformity

2009-12-20T23:13:00.000+01:00

(The word "individual" is used to illustrate something different than just "one that is distinguishable" in this post.)

There are only two kinds of people in the world, regarding what really matters: individuals, and non-individuals. Non-individuals can be divided into two categories: those who simply conform and live their lives in the background of the theatre of life, and those who have always conformed and are, what I would call, 'aggressive conformists', people who actively and blatantly force other people to conform and fight for their freedom to live their orthodox lifestyles.

In this life, we should ask ourselves, all of us, what it is that makes us worthy of living it. Why should we be here? It can not be for oneself alone, because that is not how living things work, nor how humans achieve grandeur. Though you might find 'grandeur' tricky, as it is a term which every person will attribute with something different, it does remain a synonym for magnificence, splendour and great quality, some about which there must be some consensus. Grandeur is achieved only, by standing out. Such can be a positive, but also a negative way of being different than 'others'. But evil is rarely associated with being grand, or great.

The non-individual is living a life of fear, or laziness. Literally going with the flow, the non-individual is just one of billions, insignificant, replaceable, futile. The sheer fact that everything is by definition special and distinct from everything else, is irrelevant when turning to helicopter view; witnessing the greater scheme of things. What is a sea of different colours, each distinct, but no more distinct than the next one? It is a blur and might as well be a monochrome, dull grey. To truly be of a difference, one must move things. In the sea of different colours, one colour must move the others, be of greater volume or be more active; be 'different' apart from just being plainly distinguishable. Non-individuals usually lead quite healthy and happy lives, they are the stereotypes alive, do not know or care about beauty and achieving perfection. They are the 'mass' of which people talk, even though they might be the ones talking. Their lives are fulfilled for as far as they know, without being actually fulfilled as could be. They are the ones who do not have to fight, who are the status quo and always will be, and who will never have to discover the fire of living for a true goal.

Some non-individuals are aggressive. This is either because they are so by nature and might be labelled , or because their flow, with which they have always been going, is compromised. The 'xenophobe' type is like common religion: expansionist by definition. Their confidence and/or happiness grows by every convert they make. The more sheep in the herd, the better each single sheep feels. The 'compromised' type has always been living a certain life, and suddenly finds themselves without that life or at risk of losing it. They will be defensive and fight for that which has always been easy and comfortable to them. These two types might seem individualistic, but are absolutely not individuals. All they do is expand and protect non-individualism, all that seems exceptional is their method. Clearly such is no more than skin-deep and purely incidental.

The individual is enlightened from all of this. He might even be aware of this division. The individual is sensitive to other people, sees how the herds work. They are the one at the wheel of herds, the lonesome rebel, the great thinker. What all individuals have in common, is that they strive for more than what is here. They labour to achieve improvement beyond what is already abundant. Real differences. Not the bigger salary, but the bigger influence. Individuals knows what matters, what really matters: beauty and power. Beauty to live for, power to move things to achieve greater beauty.

The function of human society relies partly on, and was greatly made possible to evolve to the stature it has established now, by the non-individuals. Such cannot be denied. To this day, industrialization and automation have not made it possible to remove humans from the dullest of labours. Like Oscar Wilde said: It is mentally and morally injurious to man to do anything in which he does not find pleasure, and many forms of labour are quite pleasureless activities, and should be regarded as such. To sweep a slushy crossing for eight hours on a day when the east wind is blowing is a disgusting occupation. To sweep it with mental, moral, or physical dignity seems to me to be impossible. To sweep it with joy would be appalling. Man is made for something better than disturbing dirt. All work of that kind should be done by a machine. Indeed. But the problem of significance arrives now: how can 1 billion people, for example, all be special? They can't. The world's population is too large, and largely too stupid, to engage in the life of what is an individual. Now it is good that the world is populated so with non-individuals, because there is the work of machines to do. But the non-individuals can, and do, belittle mankind's greatness. If it is not that; because how would we be able to appreciate a lighthouse in a storm of wet darkness, if there was no wet darkness; it is that the non-individuals have the potential to overwhelm and harm the individuals. Majority is dangerous when you are not a part of it.

So what to do now, now that we haven't the ability to let machines take over dull labour and get rid of the mass of non-individuals? Increase the number of individuals. Modern education is one of the greatest achievements of our time, we need to keep improving it; for one by focusing on growing the individual. Too little do schools and other places where there is taught, urge the young to delve deep into themselves, to uncover and begin the (endless) journey of understanding their spirit, their live force, their drive to move things. It is not sensible to want to make the world of man numb with conformity, because how can we improve without breaking out of the cage that is the past and present form? Future is what we are making, if we want it to be different from the present and the past, we have to alter it.

In reference to my mentioning of beauty, beauty is very complex, but quite simple at the same time. What would be the most beautiful house on the world, would instantly be ghastly if there was a second one, anywhere, just like it. Nothing is more terrible, than when things and people look exactly alike. Something is beautiful, because it is different, because it moves us, because it stands out.

Diversity is beauty.

Uganda

2009-12-17T21:17:00.003+01:00

You all know what this will be about. Let it be clear that Uganda is not the only country which would like to see homosexual men die, there are plenty of those; the rage is on, for Uganda, because it is mutating justice to fit this urge to torture and murder gays.

Sweden, sensible as they are, has responded to this Ugandan law-in-the-making, with the threat of stopping all aid to the country if it passes. Personally, I'm in a bit of a humanitarian conflict. On one hand the Ugandan people need help in the form of primary human needs. On the other hand, the Ugandan people are hating gay people. So do they still deserve our help? I know I'm cutting all ties with Islamic countries. I don't care whether they all die or not. It's a f*cking cesspit of dumbsh*ts who rely on foreign aid to sustain themselves, while they just keep on shooting eachother, making more HIV+ babies and preaching homophobia. Can you say bottomless pit?

Of course the Netherlands will not respond to this, or at least not within the next two weeks. We are much too afraid to hurt people's feelings, no matter whether they are the enemy or not. Perhaps Geert Wilders will say something, but he isn't a real politician so that wouldn't count. If I were the president of this country, I'd cut all ties with Uganda. There'd be economic and military embargo's against that stinking black mark on the face of the earth. Don't discuss, act. If countries want 1st world welfare, they'd better adopt 1st world ethics first. I don't want to see the fruits of my labour going to a people which exists only to serve their most primal instincts. Uganda is not beautiful nor diverse, so what exactly is its value to humanity?

I say collect the whole bunch, sterilise them by gas-poison and stop immigration. In a year or 40, because Ugandans don't get much older, we can turn it into a huge wildlife preserve. Or perhaps build an ASMHC*. And experiment with fusion power, and more of that sci-fi stuff.

Uganda is a problem for humanity, same as Afghanistan, Algeria, Angola, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Barbados, Benin, Bhutan, Botswana, Brunei, Burma, Burundi, Cameroon, Cook Islands, Cyprus, the Congo, Egypt, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Gambia, Ghana, Grenada, Guinea, Guyana, Iran, Kenya, Kuwait, Lebanon, Liberia, Malaysia, Mauritius, Morocco, Mozambique, Namibia, Nigeria, Oman, Pakistan, Panama, Papua New Guinea, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Singapore, Somalia, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Swaziland, Syria, Tanzania, Togo, Tonga, Trinidad and Tobago, Tunisia, Turkmenistan, Tuvalu, Arab Emirates, Uzbekistan, Western Samoa, Yemen, Zambia, Zimbabwe, and the part of the USA that is military personnel, (and there are more). These are problems, because they deny the rights of gays, not just to marry or adopt - such a list would probably be twice as long - but even to make love.

Tragic as that thought is, it is stupefying to realize that this is real. I guess it must be about half of the world's population that has to fear, not only the gay-bashers that every country still has, but also the authorities. There is no protection for these gay men, who unfortunately were born in one of the countries listed above, or one of the few I have missed; but to hide forever, or run. It tears me up to even imagine what it must be like to have to fear for your life, just because you were born destined to fall in love with another man. Countries which deny the rights of gay people, deserve no respect; let alone sovereignty. Any 1st world country is in the right to invade countries populated with barbarians, to forcefully insert some humanity into their back ends.

Humanitarianism should be expansionist by definition.

*ASMHC = Amazing Super Massive Hadron Collider

Homeless people

2009-12-11T15:53:00.009+01:00

I'm subscribed to the website of The Advocate (.com), they recently featured an article, well, not an article; a series of photographs. The photographs were of gay, lesbian and transgendered people living on and off in homeless shelters. Of young people.

This kind of struck me. I also recently read something about the amount of teenage and young 'drifters'. Such a life would be unbearable for me, but apart from that - or perhaps partly because of it - it hurts a little inside that people do live out on the street. Especially cute young blond gay guys...
Apparently it was a photo-shoot, by Lucky Michaels [his blog]. The whole article is [here].
Personally, I don't see those kids scattered in the street begging for money. Perhaps they have alternative ways of getting it, like Andrew (Shawn Pyfrom) did in his rough years in Desperate Housewives. Some of them will definitely be able to earn enough that way to get them off the street. But I assume they still have some sense of honour and risk-management.I used to give money to drifters. Now I regret every time I did. It's an easy way of, literally, buying-off a feeling of compassion, or perhaps even guilt. And I'm not helping them. Oscar Wilde said in his Soul of Man: They try to solve the problem of poverty, for instance, by keeping the poor alive; or, in the case of a very advanced school, by amusing the poor. This is correct. If people are unhappy with the way they are living life, they should rise up against what is keeping them there. Part of what is keeping them in the gutter, is the fact that people pity them and provide support to live in the gutter. When it is possible to live in the gutter, people are less motivated to get out of it. Sure I'm not eager to find dozens of dead clochards aside the streets, but I'm sure most - if not all - will never let it get that far. In the Netherlands, everyone has the right to either be in prison or receive a monthly government aid payment while looking for a job. This system seems simple enough, but it isn't for addicts or freedom-freaks. The addicts spend more money then they earn, they'll probably have to steal to keep up or do dirty jobs for the same purpose. The freedom-freaks are people who got stuck in the hippy era and usually dress alternatively (and sloppy) and are also officially homeless, but tend to create huts to live in. They seem like children who never got to build a tree-hut and now reclaim their lost youth. Sort of like Michael Jackson - but without the job and the money.I don't give money to drifters anymore, because I can't trust them, because they can legally get money from my tax euros and are polluting the image of our streets. They need to stop relying on money they receive begging for it and start a constructive course to realigning their lives with the system. Drifters are a problem, even in a supposed welfare state such as the Netherlands.

Of course our political construct is divided over what to do with drifters. As they are with every matter that is of any importance. God do I hate democracy...

Would that eliminate the potential for a future career in politics?

Monotheism

2009-12-08T15:46:00.012+01:00

I had the little tour of the school of nursing today, an older woman - a secretary - was my guide. We visited most of the classrooms and I had a good look at what I might be working with after the summer vacation; yes, I can't start in january or february. And I will not succumb to using capitals for the months of a year, it is stupid. Besides the good look at the practice dummies and veined arms, my suspicion of the school of nursing was confirmed for a part. It is teaming with handsome blond guys equipped with the nicest of faces. I hope they're not as straight as the handsome blond students at the teacher school.

It is unfortunate that school will not start early in the new year - this means I'll have to stick around doing English, or get a job. I'm thinking of getting a job, but it might be harder to find one with the current recession. I do have my civil engineering to back me up with, so it shouldn't take too long to get something going. The Red Cross might suffer from a 40-hour job, though... ...something I do not want to have happening. We'll see.

My "Trinity of Blonds" seems to have cracked the secret of monotheism and came up with a singular God-being. His name is Josh, and he's a CF model. Josh is like, the perfect joint venture of all handsome blond guys I witness on the street. The Trinity as is, was obsolete anyway, with guys coming 'round like Freddy Stroma and Mitch Hewer. Josh is beautifully defined, has a great smile, great hair and a cute little butt. Another plus is that he takes it in the ass, and isn't such a pussy about as Lucas (also CF) is (or used to be). He seems to enjoy it. I want to please him. He's blond, boyish and doing porn - what more do we want? Meet the divinity:

QueerClick entry

Corbin Fisher's Dean's List

Blonds have all the fun...
I badly need a credit card.
Watch this [link here] guy.

HBO-V?

2009-11-30T21:43:00.007+01:00

Another ominous abbreviation: HBO-V. This time it's less negative, I promise.

Since I've started to get used to the idea of leaving English, another option has arisen. If the switch to Dutch takes too long to wait for, read: until the start of the new year (after the summer vacation); I'd rather do something completely different.

I'm leaving English because I was stunned by my bad Dutch and decided I should preserve my own language before I try to preserve another. But I'm the kind of guy that really cares for other people, I like caring for other people. So I'm thinking, if Dutch leaves me without school for half a year, I'd much rather start HBO-V. HBO-V is the nurse school, so if Dutch fails to attend to my needs on short notice, I'm going to be a (male) nurse.
Mainly it's because I've loved every second of being in the Red Cross. I've also, just tonight after the intake, been accepted into the course of the HOC, to become a disaster relief medic. And 'nurse' might give you the wrong idea, I'm not going to wash old people front to back - I get to do much more exciting stuff since I'm on a higher level of education. And really, I wouldn't want to wash old people - period. Right now I'm still high from the intake, so it might sound like I really just want to be a nurse and don't care much for teaching. But both still need some thought and I'll first talk to my mentor (of the English lot) to see what would be best to do now.

I also have a question pending with the local HBO-V school to see whether they'll let me in, since I've never received any education in chemistry or biology of a significant level. So I might first have to pump up those two subjects before they'll give me the go. I could do that in the half year which lies between now and the end of the summer vacation. If there is no need for that, I'll probably work in the Civil Engineering branch until I can start school (I have to live off something if I'm not in school). But we'll see about that.

And thanks, to all, for those helpful comments on the HSP post. I'm feeling far less worried about this now that I have given it a place in my mind and have thought about it so much. I might still see a shrink or coach, after I visit the physician with these troubles of mine.

HSP, me!?

2009-11-26T13:06:00.007+01:00

Recently I have discovered something called HSP, high sensitive person. The 'scientific' term would be Seonsory-Processing Sensitivity. Now you know I am not a lightheaded person, I shun at Homoeopathy (alternative medicine), Religion and other would-be doctors. But I think I have SPS. http://www.hsperson.com/

It's like the missing piece of the puzzle of my life, there may be more, but this is a really big chunk. The more I learn of this hyper sensitivity, the more I recognize it in myself. From little things I remember in childhood to why I build my life around helping other people. I am greatly affected by the suffering of other people, apparently more than most other humans. And that it is not (just) altruism that is the reason for my volunteer jobs. I now also realize that I have indeed forgotten about myself a little, focusing my life on helping other people, it's the question my gay pastor friend asked me: "Who will save you?" Ultimately I should, even before helping others, but I seem to be unable to help it.

I need to learn how to cope with this, because this is having a negative influence on me and my long-term goals, like school, - which I frequently forget about. I've found some counsellors, but they live in the south of the country and are expensive. A man I contacted (from the south) rang me up with a good proposition of one visit and the rest phone or IM conversations. For a reduced price. I told him I was very pleased at this and would get back to him after seeing my doctor, which I still need to do.

I had plans of going to the doctor earlier, before discovering all this, because I was feeling depressed, burned out, rather often. It seems the only times I am not depressed is when at home resting or when surrounding by human beings, as with my volunteer jobs. My classmates also seem to be the only reason I go to school - which is not really supposed to be the case. So now I think I have some more ammunition to shoot at my doctor, make this case a little bigger and deeper. I hope she (female doctor) understands this problem and won't laugh in my face thinking SPS is a fairy tale. It is for fear of such an experience that I am seeking my childhood homoeopathic doctor (another woman) who now is a real doctor in the same post as my regular doctor. It doesn't matter which I see normally, but this issue might be a little too sensitive for my (favourite) straight-forward doctor; the one I saw for the recent STD test I did.

I'm still in doubt whether to make an issue of seeing a particular doctor or not. I feel like a hypocrite for running to the homoeopath (and) real doctor for a subtle advice, instead of going to my straight-forward real real doctor.

I'm curious as to what my two shrinks have to say about this...

I'll keep you posted. Here are some men.
By the way, I'm totally digging Josh, CF's freshest guy on his Dean's List.
https://mercury.corbinfisher.com/ACMDeansListDetails.aspx?ip=16
I love the kid, he's so cute, smooth and what an ass! Now I need to get him on video...

Holiday on Ice

2009-11-23T22:40:00.008+01:00

I've recently seen Holiday On Ice (Spirit of the World) three times. Of course on Red Cross duty. What I mainly loved about it was the dancing and the music, and those hot butts in tight jeans skating around a small arena. Mainly there was some really good music , and some really hot guys. It won't surprise you that there was little to do for me, medically that is. The only thing I did get to do was wrap up a bleeding finger properly, after another medic just taped a gaze on it, which it plainly bled right through. I thought it needed stitching so I sent the guy to the doctor's post.

I had expected more from Holiday On Ice.

I love musicals, I think I have finally discovered theatre.

I just returned from the first meeting for the SIGMA HOC training, the disaster relief medical team which I'll probably join. I have an intake meeting next monday. There were about 25 people there at this first meeting, some of them I know from Red Cross shifts. There were also people there whom I found incapable of serving this team, since they were obese, female and old.

Fortunately they didn't have to be told they were unable to perform this duty, and reached that conclusion themselves when the details of this job became apparent.

Besides that, I'm thinking of switching to studying Dutch instead of English. My affinity with Dutch is greater than with English - naturally - and I was stunned at how much I sucked at Dutch. Yeah, I thought I was quite brilliant, but grammer - and even spelling - tests were slaughters, hardly anyone (let alone me) made it through the initial tests. And I really like that there are more male teachers there...

It's still in f*cking Leeuwarden, instead of Groningen; which means I'll still have to travel over an hour to get to school.

Scouting is taking up a lot of time as well as the Red Cross. I've started managing all of our scouting groups first aid coffers, arranged a cut in the price of supplies with one supplier (which usually only goes to Red Cross and First Aid organizations), and just finished establishing what should go in the coffers.

Now I need to get the money from scouting to buy this stuff. It's amazing what kind of obsolete and downright absurd stuff I dug up in the old first aid coffers. Army bandages from 1981, surgical knives, surgical clamps and fat impregnated cottons; to name a few. This first refill will be the most expensive, some coffers were damaged beyond repair and need replacement and much of the bandages and disinfectants were way past their expiration date. I hope we can cope.

I'm also starting to grow fond of Tyra Banks, her show at least. There are some pretty interesting topics on YouTube, in full. Perhaps she will become the next most influential woman in the world, when Oprah leaves us. They have a lot in common, really.

That's all for now, see you folks later.

A letter to the future

2009-11-10T18:29:00.008+01:00

Greenpeace is making a time capsule which will contain 100 of the most voted for messages people today send in, for future generations, on microfilm. Since I am not planning on aiding in this stupid Democratic process, I will write my own, here.
---

Dear people of the future,

I hope you can read and understand English.

My name is irrelevant, my being is irrelevant. What I want you to know, to understand, is written here. It is not about me, it is about us. Us humans.

For centuries we have been preoccupied with killing each other. Mainly for a religious sake, sometimes for the sake of more power or wealth. Selfish and stupid endeavours, which I hope you will have outgrown by now. I do think religion will still exist, since so many people are so stupid, or you'd have to get rid of stupidity. Either way, here's some thoughts:

Religion satisfies needs of people, needs for comforting, ignorance, motivation and ethics. It thereby holds a great deal of power. With religion being a placebo which effects are directly controlled by other people, this is a formula for tragedy. Too many people cannot be trusted with themselves, let alone others. So I would suggest getting rid of religion and posing an equally satisfying placebo without a human element, like a philosophy or a happy-go-lucky supplement.

Concerning politics. For many years now, much of the world's population has been living under democracy. This makes the stupid masses feel in power making them happy, but strongly limits political growth. By letting a majority rule, its ruling will never be as perfect as the ruling of a single person could be. Quite simply put: the less stupid people you allow to vote, the better the outcome.

I hope that, by now, you have given up founding the functioning of the economy on the inbred greed in all beings. Since humans are not stupid enough to follow it, outsmarting the system; and because it creates an inhumane survival of the fittest scenario. Besides that it is not motivating for an increasing number of people, especially humanists and HSP's. Capitalism worked for our primitive species, but surely we must move on beyond such means eventually.

Please don't forget the field of cosmology and history. Some of the things my generation of people has discovered, will be impossible for you to discover again. So I urge you: save those two fields and keep it well protected. The information we have gathered must not be lost, because it can never be found again.

I encourage you to never loose sight of the Arts, however ancient they may be compared to your modern understanding of beauty and significance. The treasures of old, are modern treasures also.

The many spirits and a wide variety of beers, wines and whiskeys need to be preserved for old times sake. The pleasures of the simple minds were undoubtedly of influence to the intelligence you are equipped with today. We may have poisoned ourselves, but at times, it was that same Alcohol which kept us from greater poisoning.

And as an end note: Live your life as a human being, to the fullest. Be beautiful, be helpful and give mankind a good nudge in the right direction if you can.

Pizza Boy

2009-10-28T17:40:00.004+01:00

Over here, the stereotype student-meal is pizza and beer. Over the past few weeks, I have had a lot of pizza and beer.

We have this cute website which gives you plenty of choice of restaurants in your neighbourhood which will deliver food to you. That food is what you order through that same cute website and really, this system works like a charm. You can even pay in advance and add extras on your pizza! And it's not just pizza they offer. I'm talking of JustEat.nl, which will not mean much to the lot of you, but it is beginning to mean to me.

I've had three pizzeria's by now, the last one certainly got stuck since I am now staring over another one of their masterpieces. I tried Quattro Formaggis first with every pizzeria, a pizza with four kinds of cheese and a lot of other stuff. The first restaurant brought me the most disgusting thing I ever put in my mouth. It was made up of a disgusting, fat-saturated, pizza-base which was obviously prefabricated (perfectly round, standing edge, bread-like). The four kinds of cheese had somehow molten together to form one fatty surface which I was supposed to eat. Beyond four kinds of cheese there was very little there. It was small, distasteful and expensive - AND the delivery boy had no chance on him. The second restaurant was better, or less worse. Again the pizza base wasn't really good but at least the cheeses were distinguishable.

But this third restaurant, really gives me what I want. A great, self-made pizza bottom, roughly cut vegetables, loads of meat and a great distribution of the cheeses. The pizzas are big, well topped and supplied with plenty of spices. And most importantly: this is the cheapest restaurant (unbelievable!), the deliveries are on time (this one was actually early), the delivery boy has change in a professional (big) wallet and... he's blond, young, totally cute and not hiding behind a way-too-big motorcycle helmet.

I wonder if I should start giving him tips. I think I will, he's nice and service is good.

And he's of legal age to, well, you know; since you have to be 16 to drive a motorcycle.

My financial problems are over, or, in two months at least. I've made some arrangements that will make the government support me more now and make me bear a heavier load - yes, I will be borrowing from the state. I don't feel guilty about taking the money I'm not borrowing: I do enough community service. At least I won't have to be worrying at every end of the month whether my electricity, rent - or worse: - Internet will still be there.

And no. I do not have time for a job.

I am going to study Theology after becoming a teacher. It appears you can do that without becoming a man of the cloth.

The pizza boy is like a butch version of Mitch Hewer, but younger and with cute fuzzy hair. I've looked for about ten minutes now, to find a fitting enough image, but only managed to look through a quarter of my collection. My collection is getting too big, and it is hard to stay focused... so no pic today.

New Rules

2009-10-21T18:01:00.004+02:00

Because I love Bill Maher and his delightfully (though mainly completely unsophisticated) show, the best part is usually New Rules. Not because of the statements he makes, just because it is light and humorous. Besides, isn't he cute? I love those puppy dog eyes...I've made up a set of New Rules, perhaps worthy of inclusion in the next religion to spring up. The Eleven Commandments:
1. If people can't help ruining everything, then at least have them start with ruining themselves.
Essentially, this is a very un-socialist thing for me to say. But let's face it: every altruist gets fed up with mankind's stupidity at some point in life. If people really want to, I think we should let them go ahead and ruin themselves. Just don't do it in my street...
2. Religious arguments, are not real arguments; so stop using them in real debates.
"But the Bible says..." How many times do I need to explain I am an atheist? I don't give a fuck about what the Bible says; it is all bullshit. But what is even more annoying, perhaps even offensive, is the people who (most of the time without noticing it themselves) pretend to be God's spokesperson. "Really, God would think it better for you to do this..." It reminds me of a cute video on YouTube where someone kindly pointed out to Yoko Ono that she could now stop saying "It's what John would have wanted.", because everyone has had enough of it.
3. Straight men must stop attracting gay men, or start doing gay sex.
Obviously, this is very frustrating. But then again, I'm very hypocritical, since I've ruined the little dream several women were in; in which I played the main part. It breaks my heart, but I'm really gay. So perhaps this rule isn't the best in the world - perhaps it should say the homo/hetero balance should be more like 50/50. Or perhaps the homo/bi/hetero balance should be 33,3/33,3/33,3. Either way, it would be nice if more men I found attractive, would actually be gay.
4. Parents who tell their children not to be gay have to be sterilized.
Simply because they are incompetent parents. Need I say more? I will, regardless: I think people need to be screened before they decide to get a baby. Family planning needs to be a much more important item in education of young people - needs to be an item in the first place. Too many children are born into very dysfunctional families; it needn't be so. This wouldn't be the first liberty to be taken away in order to serve everyone's good. Or perhaps people could be motivated - instead of forced by law - to plan ahead and be screened for any need of advice or guidance. The latter seems more humane...
5. People who make shitty covers of epic songs need to be put away with only Mozart to listen to.
Or whichever other classic musician. Most of all, they need to be kept away from any recording studio or music label. They are not artists, they are vandals.
6. Stupid people must be forbidden to vote and need to be allowed only limited offspring.
See rule #1 and #4. Because they are incompetent people, they need to adjust to whatever the system thinks is best for them - or leave. They don't get to vote, because their vote can too easily be corrupted, by popularism, religion, or other bias. If you vote, it is your duty to investigate in the voting options, make up your mind and by all means not just sway into the booth and vote for whatever politician you think other people like best.
7. Everyone has to stop ruining languages by misusing them, it's bad enough as it is.
See all over the world. Language may be a work-in-progress by definition, but because of that, it is open for corruption and eventually downfall. New words are essential, but don't change the actual language each year. This is too confusing and people stop doing it right. Language needs to be conservative, in order to sustain itself.
8. There has to be a cap on shitty TV commercials.
It is a disgrace on the face of mankind, and needs to be met with. I suggest this as an agenda topic for the next G8 convention.
9. Brewers who brew awful beers, need to switch to making awful white wines.
Another G8 point of concern, the dreadful lagers in circulation. Being a brewer of beer, doesn't mean you can brew beer. Theoretically your produce is what you claim it to be, but when put to the test, it more closely resembles cold piss; or making love in a canoe.
10. People who can't deal with reality, have to stop making up fairytales about it.
And all other kinds of untruths. Reality is actually something to be concerned with, this may strike some people as odd, but they probably can't help it. Modern education needs to include philosophy and life contemplation, on all levels. If only all people, most of all dumb people, were taught science before they were taught religion - there would be no problems in the world of the scale we find them now. I don't think there would be wars anymore. No more backward people clinging to ancient doctrine - thereby hurting others. Gay Marriage would never have been a question, at all. All nations would be in the UN. The Red Cross would be able to focus solely on natural disasters. All economies would thrive, because the lack of corruption, crime and violence makes them more efficient. Globalization would be a good thing. If only people would discover reason before the fairy godmother.
11. Matthew Mitcham needs to move to Groningen.
Duh, though I would settle for any other blond cutie at the moment, or redhead for that matter. In fact, I don't care what colour his hair is, as long as he's nice, not older than 30 and cuddly.

Jesus Camp

2009-10-08T22:58:00.016+02:00

IMDb entry: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486358/

I just watched Jesus Camp, again (4th time). If you're going "oh dear, there he goes again", you are absolutely right. But an important part of blogging, for me, is getting things off my chest. Another good thing is that people get to comment on what I produce from my chest.

In short, Jesus Camp is a documentary about an annually held summer camp, for Evangelical Christians, focused on the kids. The camp is called "Kids On Fire". It is lead by some obese woman, with an unpleasant voice and an even more unpleasant goal in life: indoctrinating children to let them overtake other people's freedoms. This is in America, of course.
The first thing that usually happens to me when watching this movie, is a feeling, an urge to intervene. When those kids are in that barrack, dubbed "Chapel", crying their hearts out over some Jesus shit, I don't see God being glorified, I see emotional damage. You all know I care a lot about the world and about mankind. Adults can pretty much take care of themselves, though I can get quite worked up about the pitiful souls among them too; but children, are the innocent victims of adult delusions. Not only are they harmed, they are harmed in such a way that they will grow up harming others, even their own children. So when witnessing this child abuse, since that is obviously what this is, I imagined government intervention. The uproar-police (SWAT, perhaps?) bashing in the doors, arresting the camp staff and liberating the children returning them home to their parents. I care a lot about other people, so much that I am eager to take their liberty away when they obviously can't handle it. I know that might not be such a good thing.
But it is at home that the real fun starts, isn't it? In the same documentary we see a parent home-schooling her children (again a woman doing the harm), about how evolution is not real and global warming doesn't exist. That is not educating someone, that is lying to someone. How can it be allowed that children are left to their parents' idiocy to be educated!? Aren't kids supposed to go to school until a certain age? Doesn't the government care about education? Home schooling is not a viable alternative to public education, because it is not reliable. And this might be an extreme case, but the fact that there are millions of Evangelical Christians in the US alone, hints that there are probably more children being taught nonsense by their mothers.

How far does the right of parents go to do with their children as they please? In the Netherlands all forms of abuse that go for adults also go for kids, especially including corporal punishment. I remember sitting in the living room with my family, when it was announced on television that it would from now on be illegal to hit a child. I used to hate my father for exactly that form of punishment, and it feels uncomfortable digging this deep into the past; but the feeling of joy that I had at that moment in front of the television, I just couldn't help nodding approvingly, even though I didn't want to provoke my dad. A while later he had a period of joking about it with my granddad, they both seemed to disagree with the law disabling them to correct people. I never laughed at such jokes, not even as I was 18. The scars that a child becomes, never wear off. Such jokes release an intense feeling of disgust and anger in me. ... Hmm, I am wandering off topic.

Parents have the first responsibility over their children. That is their right, and I don't oppose that. But if a parent abuses a child, whether it is mentally or physically, they have shown that they have a malfunction in their ability to properly raise children. If that disability is great enough, I believe the child should be rescued and placed in a foster home. Not just because I wish to adopt, but also because the child has rights as well as the parent does. So the real question, I guess, is when the rights of the parent end and the rights of the child begin - when those rights are in conflict.

A child that wants to do something really dangerous or otherwise stupid, is limited in its freedom by the parent. But how far can a parent go in 'protecting' a child from the 'dangers' that the parent thinks the child needs to be protected from. If a parent is sufficiently deluded by a religious conviction, which by definition is nonsense, the parent will persuade his child into the same religious delusion - after all, religious fact is more real than scientific fact, isn't it? Personally, I think this world is fucked up beyond repair. It's impossible to impose a perfect system on this people, because the lot is downright stupid. And religion can take full credit for that, stalling human intellectual growth for ages. We can't mutate the government into being less imperfect without having to overcome the pathetic system of democracy. Which is quite a challenge. But if we could, we should allow the government to rescue children from homes in which they are damaged for life. The definition of damaged for life being traumatized, mentally. Physical obstacles are much easier to overcome, or learn to live with, than psychological obstacles.

If parents do not let their children get the basic education that everyone deserves, if they lead them into the trauma that is religious doctrine (authority), if they scare the living daylights out of them with heaven and not-getting-heaven, if they give them to obscure people for a summer camp in which they pray to a cardboard cut-out of George Bush; then they have failed their duty to care for their children. It's not much different from terrorizing your child with verbal abuse, or withholding them their evening meal. These parents are infringing the rights of their children, their right to get proper education, be brought up to be a healthy and free individual. And not someone who would vote for that piece of shit.These children are living in an anti-social religious group. Cult and sect don't apply, because this isn't just some religious fringe, this is big, many people believe the shit they teach these children - and applaud it. Children are depraved from basic rights, from healthy social interaction, from intellectual growth and from their future potential. It doesn't take a degree in psychology to imagine the impact such an intense indoctrination has on later life, even if one manages to get out of the social prison they were brought up in. And I'm not talking about the natural intellectuals, they manage quite well regardless of the challenges, this is about the folks that are not so bright. I just can't stress it enough, or find words that would more accurately explain this. Indoctrinating children into a religious mindset, because it is more than just a 'belief', is just plain criminal. Children deserve a fair chance at a brilliant life, like anyone else. And it is NOT the right of parents to take that away from their offspring, because children have rights too.

Apart from that cardboard representation of one of the worst presidents that ever lived, Ted Haggard also made an appearance in the documentary. Of course, he is the 'big guy' of the Evangelicals, or at least, used to be. It's so plain obvious that the guy is gay, the voice alone is a dead give-away, and he said 'fabulous', twice. I mean, that's one of 'our' words. Just like 'fierce', or 'totally'. The minds of people like Haggard really spur my interest. I want to know why they think what they think, and why they think how they think.
This is him making a joke about men sleeping around with other men. He won't tell if you pay him a thousand dollars - or a 'friendly visit', I'd guess. What a loser, really. It's like the ex-gay guy Bill Maher interviews in his movie Religulous, who is not really ex-gay but straight and having "dealt with some homosexuality". His whole appearance, way of speaking and - well - everything about him SCREAMS 'gay'. He even married someone who used to be a lesbian, how more obvious could this cover-up be!? Anyway, I am again straying from the point.
I need a haircut.

And I'm going to take a 'positive psychology' course aside my regular school tasks. It focuses on how people can become more happy, instead of battling factors that create unhappiness. Making people more happy, instead of less unhappy, in essence.

I am interested in too many things, I don't have time to give them all the attention they deserve.

That had nothing to do with the rest of this post.

The government, or if you don't want a government then an organization of good citizens, should secure the upbringing of children. Rationally looking at situations and intervening when needed. It is important to look at each individual case with a fresh mind, because no child or parent is the same as the other. If children are obstructed by an outside influence in becoming a healthy and free individual, then steps must be taken to remove that obstruction. A child should never be parted from its parents when there is no need to, that would only harm the child. But if its parents are the obstruction which I described, then there is a need to separate the child from its parents. If parents fail, that is their loss. It shouldn't also become the loss of the child.

The fact that some religions now focus on children, reveals their insecurity. If they turn from honest debate and aim at mind-fucking human beings when their minds are still too fragile to defend themselves, they have truly reached the bottom.

I don't find it hard to imagine a world without religion. It is actually a very pleasant fiction to reside in. Yet the more does the absurdity of this world stand out in the experience of all-day life.Put your arms down kid, there is no sky-daddy and you're just making a fool of yourself. Oh, I'm sorry: you were just making mommy proud.

However, similar to the abolition of the "correctional spanking" of children by their parents, religion is so instilled into people, that they have no idea what to do without it. Thousands of people, daily trespass the law by hurting their child as a form of punishment. This is sickening, but real. Same as thousands of people trespass the rights of their children by sending them to indoctrination camps, 'bible camps'. People are too stupid to get out of social compulsions and aid in the altogether progress of mankind. Too many people just sit out their life, doing insignificant jobs and (perhaps largely unconsciously) as part of a group, make for a detrimental force against the forward motion of society. Be that detrimental force religion or corporal punishment, like-mindedness as an objective, instead of a trait; is so rampant among many people that they really don't care how it is embodied.

Bless me father

2009-10-05T19:53:00.013+02:00

...for I have sinned. It has been 1 month and 1 day since my last blogpost.

As you undoubtedly know, I have been very busy with all sorts of things. Scouting is taking its toll, now being the team-leader of the cubscouts and still giving the full 100% to my scouts is turning out harder than I expected. High School is more of a challenge than the civil engineering study, which is good in a way, but also claims its price. And the Red Cross also keeps me occupied, above are two pictures taken of me during the DelfSail event. I've done tuns of shifts after that, but - same as with the other aspects of my life - it's all too much to mention now.

I'm currently having a cold, still went to school today - bad choice perhaps - and will not be donating blood this month. I'm also still in a bit of a financial chaos, but it's nothing serious. I just want to let you folks know that I'm doing pretty well, I am still alive and will just need some time to get things going before blogging will get back up to the decent once-a-week postings.

To let you off now: a great little video I happened across. It's a quite brilliant piece, played out marvellously and I love the redhead. It's so awkward, emotional and intense! I love it, simply love it. Enjoy, and 'till soon(er)!

In love with a dad

2009-09-04T20:57:00.005+02:00

This might be a little shocking, but I think I have a terrible crush on someone. He's the father of one of my cubscouts, I met him at summercamp, we had a chat about their (mom was there too) son's behavior. He's blond (surprise!), sort of butch and has the cutest face. I love his smile.

He must be in his thirties. I am 21 - and very excited.

I'm not sure what is his name was, but I do have a conversation with one dad tomorow at 13:15. I'm thinking of two possible dads he might be, of which one is divorced (win!). We'll see tomorow...

The cubscouts will "fly over" tomorow to the scouts, it's a ceremony where they have to undergo a small initiation task for all to see. Usually it's just getting very dirty and wet in the park next to our scoutbaste. I'll take pictures. Besides the cubs, the scouts will fly as well, to the explorers group (ages 14 to 18).

I've been busy figuring out which cubs get to go to the scouts; it's very last minute, I know. I've e-mailed and called parents (to make sure they got it and I got their answers). A lot of how we thought this was giong to be, turned out completely different. We had a lot of bad information in establishing which kids could leave the cubs and join the scouts. One kids is only 9 in reality, but was 11 on paper (the age to pass); two others had already given up scouting. In the end, only 3 of the initial 8 cubs will go to the scouts; of which I am not sure about one, hence the date with his father.

I hope I'm right in thinking (or rather, hoping) he is the dad of my dreams.

I am so bad for actually publishing this...

So it turned out not to be the dad I had hoped for. Mitch is fucking gorgeous too though.

DelfSail 2009

2009-08-30T15:03:00.010+02:00

So, I got back on thursday, I had a marvellous two weeks in Delfzijl - though it was terribly exhausting. As you may have understood from previous posts, I had a double shift during the DelfSail week: I was a scout every morning and afternoon and a Red Cross medic every evening.

She is SO fabulous, a gorgeous woman and what pipes!

In financial news: I'm broke, about 1200 euros in the red and it's all because my income has ceased to arrive. The IBG, information management group, somehow didn't follow me to the new education and thought I just stopped learning after that civil engineering adventure. I went to their service office this afternoon, right after school, to settle this matter. The woman, called Mary Jane (Tom Petty?), fabulous though she was, said I didn't call this in. I actually did, through the internet service they have, but I must have missed something - or they have. Either way, we immediately settled things: I didn't have to pay any consequential fine for illegally using my public transports card and I would receive all my missed payments with the regular one for this month. I also arranged a loan with them, of 150 euros per month, because they're the cheapest, I need the money and I don't have time to do a job.

Another brilliant video, not the original to accompany the song, but certainly better than that. The original is more of a child-abuse thing, while this really complements the dance-feel of this song.

Part of not having much time is because I simply do so many things. I could list them, but I don't want to flaunt all my volunteering work. Concerning that, I'm back on track doing shifts for the red cross, coming sunday for instance on a rally cross track. I hope they have enough clean water there, to wash the wounds. I'm also in for two shifts in the Martiniplaza, a theatre/congress-hall/thing where I'll watch over the souls visiting the play 'Joseph and the technicolour dreamcoat' - whatever that is about. The ladies of the staff there love me, I spend a lot of time waiting with them for rollers to come along (rollers = people in wheelchairs who need guidance to their seats, a less thrilling job the red cross has volunteered me to do). We chat a lot, which is what they seem to do for a living - apart from the rare occasion where they actually take someone's coat and give them a number to reclaim it.
The best complementing video for any song I ever came across on YouTube. It is really hard to believe that this didn't originally come with the song. I love the imagery, the artistic edges and how perfectly smooth it is. And is that a gay twist I witness?

DelfSail was great. I've been extremely busy for scouting, placing fences, assembling flagpoles with flags, placing flag poles all over the place (including a huge shipcrane), moving people and stuff, refitting broken/stolen/vandalized flag poles, counting people (boring), watching over kids in the children dump, and more of that stuff. In the evenings we got a lot of people with walking injuries and wasp stings at the first aid posts. We had no fatalities, which is pretty good for a visitor count of about 800.000 people - of course that should be accredited to people's own caution. The walking injuries varied from minor pains to torn blisters. We didn't have any amputations, either, by the way. I had a lot of fun during the day, but also during the night. I met a lot of people I knew, in the fire brigade, first aid organization and the Red Cross. I even had a shift where my patrol partner was one of my first aid examiners. One of the fireman I knew was the Lotus (play-victim), a very nice (and handsome) grey-haired older man whom I also came across during the NPK (northern whitsun camp, of scouting).

I finally received my books for the English study. The school is as disorganized as my previous school was, but things will probably improve when they moved to the new building (they're in the middle of a move) and when they pass through the first few weeks of getting up to steam. I'm enjoying all classes except one. We are all treated as adults, as about-to-be teachers instead of just another class full of students. This I like, but it is missing in the class I had last, the Dutch grammar course, which male teacher is a complete asshole, who treats us as if we were school kids and who has a very unfortunate voice. He teaches German as main occupation, which didn't surprise me much, since all teachers of German were asses in my experience. Bitter old bitches, all of them. I told my classmates from the moment we entered the classroom that I disliked him, and my initial feelings were only confirmed, continuously, during class. He is not evil, he just doesn't fit our class - he should teach regular school students, not teachers in spe. I am glad that I got confirmation from my mentor that, yes, minors are available for Bachelors and we can choose whatever subject we want, including Theology and Philosophy.

I have trouble with two subjects, proficiency and British studies. Proficiency, because I really have a hard time defining the difference in pronunciation of the words "pet" and "pat" - but I'm getting it, eventually. The British studies class involves topography, something I was never interested in and which I, as a result of that, suck at. I globally know the countries, the names of regions, the location of capital cities and some other places and rivers of the British Isles, but apparently not enough. Worst of all, they want me to know 28 places in 6 weeks from now (the first test week). I will have to study - something I am not used to, but was actually hoping to find necessary after that dull and unchallenging civil engineering course. Be careful what you wish for.

In the line of "Be careful what you wish for"; I was bitching that we only had women teaching us for the first two days and said I would like a male teacher as well. Now I got one, whom I hate. I'm out for now, tired and have a slight work-load from scouting and school to finish today. So I'm off. Here are some pictures I took during DelfSail:

(We found some sunflowers, so we made a 60's love bus)

Religulous

2009-08-14T18:18:00.007+02:00

Simply because I can.

Hey guys. I'm currently recovering from food poisoning, perhaps the worst thing that ever happened to me. Fortunately I'm getting better by the day, especially since I'll be off next week for DelfSail, a sailing-themed festival where I'll be as a medic and as a scout. I find sailing ships intriguing, but not interesting enough to know a hell of a lot about them - so I hope no one will be going smart on me.

Right after DelfSail it's straight back to business, I'm starting up a new cub-scout-leaders-team (whatever) which includes my sister who hasn't been seen on scouting for about 7 years and school will start immediately as well. I still have my own scouts to look after and I'm expecting a course to learn bandage sports injuries, which I had actually hoped would be in the vacation - I thought wrong. I seem to have an incredible lack of energy, not just now because of the food poisoning (it was bad meat, pork to be precise, not prepared by me but by my mother - she is feeling very guilty...), but generally this past holiday. I'm thinking I might be doing something wrong, either getting involved into too many responsibilities, or perhaps my karma is off. All I seem to do is watch movies and not do anything particularly useful, like blogging... well until today.

I went from 0 to a lot today, I made several phone calls to arrange stuff this morning, cleaned up my place, got a haircut and did the groceries. Most of all, I blogged. Good boy.

I recently watched Religulous, a short documentary by Bill Maher (blessed be his name), which is remarkably cool. And by that I mean it is not too deep, trailerpark idiots could watch this and not be stunned completely. Of course his wit is rampant in the movie, but that's what I like about Bill Maher, funny but only bringing the right people down [the people that deserve bringing down]. It's a really good watch, I can really recommend it. Somewhat related, I'm about to watch Hell House, another short documentary, but this time it focuses on a ministry which aims at indoctrinating people through fear, and only through fear. I'm looking forward to it, it's like what Idols and American Idol is for the masses, raw ridicule of people making themselves look utterly stupid. Something else I came across, to call it a day now:

I think this video would be great material to hold a conference on for psychology and perhaps psychiatry (these people do need help). Would be a nice relief from all the anti-depressants I guess.

Freddie Stroma

2009-07-27T01:21:00.009+02:00

Hey guys. I've been at my parent's place for a while, so blogging was on hold. Right now I'm in slow-motion because it is vacation. I'm totally out of my day rhythm, as the time of posting testifies (1:23). I'll probably be asleep again until 11:00 this morning.

It appears my family has discovered this blog (again?). My mother, over-bearing as she is, emailed me, twice. She thinks scouting and gay porn don't go well together, or rather, shouldn't go together. I think I misjudged her capability to comprehend diversity. Anyway, my older younger brother (the ex-neo-nazi type hardcore kid) appears to have found this spot and visited it. My warning didn't stop him, probably because he can't read (English).

I've been toying with the thought of giving myself up to the rather irritating "are you sure you want to enter this deviant place?" page, before coming into my sphere. Daniel, the guy who used to be in the desert, succumbed to it. My blog does contain adult material, so technically I should already have done that, but I mean, what's the point? If people ignore my little warning I very carefully placed atop this blog, why would they bother seriously considering the warning page? I mean, everyone just clicks "Yes, I am 18 years or older", just like we all click "I have read the terms of this agreement and accept". No one bothers to wield it, so why should I supply it?

Perhaps it is just a matter of time before evil people flagged my blog often enough for Blogger to force this page on me. What do you think I should do?

On another note, I haven't forgotten about the post on the blonds (which is so going to exacerbate things like that above); and got a new cutie to go in it: Freddie Stroma. You saw him at the top of this post, and here's another picture for you at the end. He's a gymnast (like William), I don't know whether he's gay as well, but he certainly doesn't do porn (yet) and can be found on the internet as an actor and model. There are some great videos of him on YouTube (like this one, and this one) and it appears he has a role in a Harry Potter movie. I've also fallen in love with this Toad The Wet Sprocket song. I remember a fellow blogger remark he thought it was great that a young guy like me (I must've been 18 back then), was so excited about a real oldie. Back then it was Windmills, I still love that song, but this is a little more, adult.

Summer Camp ('09)

2009-07-12T20:05:00.027+02:00

So I'm back! I've been gone from Friday to Saturday-evening more than a week later. I slept through Sunday, waking up to lunch watching a movie and then slumbering back asleep. Today is easy time, slowly getting back to my old strengths. It's astonishing to watch leaders - among which myself - collapse after the kids have left on Friday. To get you folks into the theme, here's the theme introduction movie, I play the druid...

Above are the usual patrol kitchens made by the scouts of both the morning and the afternoon scouts. The afternoon scouts had two patrols on camp, the morning scouts just one. I was mildly proud of yet another small victory for our afternoon scouts. Even though I was on camp as a cubscoutleader (King Louie), I spend some time explaining stuff to scouts on several occasions. They are hopeless without me ;) The first night I pulled several scouts out of their tents for being too noisy, we placed them across the field, ordered them to stand still, not communicate and remain focused on an object directly in front of them. Any deviation from this would add another 15 minutes to the out-time. I have to admit that I spoiled a really hot blond kid...
These are the tents of the scouts and the cubscouts. In the middle are the two leader tents (the large white one for the scoutsleader and the smaller green one for the cubscoutleaders). The first four tents are the scouts tents, the last two were for the cubscouts. Since I was a cubscoutleader I slept in the green tent, I was with two female leaders so I had one of the two compartments for myself.

This is the guild sign for the guild of Asterix, the trade of warriors. Asterix was lead by Martijn, a fellow scoutsleader of my group who is the other male besides me in the leaders team. In my place he got another male and a female for support, since I was not a scoutsleader this camp.

The guild plate of Hoefnix, the blacksmith of the village, the trade of metal workers. This guild was supervised by Hoefnix, a core member dressed up as the theme figure. He was dressed, appropriately, in a trousers and a brown leather smiths skirt. He usually carried a heavy hammer with him and he also brought a large white dog, which we called IdefixXL, after Idéfix (the small dog in the comics) and XXL for being so huge.

The plate of Obelix, trade of menhir-masons. Of course lead by Obelix himself, who after three days made a nasty fall and was from then on unable to lift his menhir, which he used to carry around everywhere. The guild of Obelix won, surprisingly, since my guild was the leader for the entire camp. I bet someone stole the scores...

And at last, the coat of arms of Assurancetorix, the bard of the village. The trade of entertainment and education, things which suited me. I lead this guild as Assurancetorix, I should have won and that is all. Displayed on it is Air by Bach on the papyrus roll in the center and the text "Be as you would want to be, see as you would want to see" stolen from the movie Were The World Mine. We assumed the first place after the first game and held on to it until the end. We kept the scores near eachother artificially, to keep things more challenging, lowering my score and bringing up the score of the other teams. I was a bit disappointed to find that my guild didn't win by just 10 points, which is far less than I was compensated with to keep the scores close together. Oh well, the kids had fun and there's more to life than winning.
The cars and our smallest tractor. You can see the water tanks and the small diesel-boiler on the top of the brighter green trailer. Behind the trailer were two improvised showers. Both the showers and the general water storage worked by the principle of communicating barrels. The showers were great, a real treat during camp.
This is a cubscout, a menhir and Obelix (with crutches). You can see Abraracourcix, the village Chieftain, walking toward his chair. Obelix terribly injured his knee after a nasty fall during the ghost trip a few nights earlier. I treated him with a pressure bandage and ordered him to take rest. He didn't take rest and the pain remained at a level 5 (in first aid, pain levels are indicated by the victim from 0 to 10, where 0 is absolutely no pain and 10 is the most gruesome pain they can imagine). We sent him to the hospital after the pain hadn't stopped for the next day. Affirmingly, the hospital ordered him to rest and put a pressure bandage on his knee. They gave him the crutches (we don't have any ourselves).
This is Abraracourcix mounting his elevated chair accompanied by Dave, dressed up as Xienix, the false future-teller. Abraracourcix (under normal conditions called Patrick) and I are one of the few who still acknowledge the benefits of wearing wooden shoes. I'd bought new black ones for the camp and the pink ones (from last NPK, where our theme-colour was pink) painted gold, with my Abraracourcix suit. It looked pretty sharp.
Again Obelix near the sign of his trade, unfortunately one of the less charming expressions on his face was caught on camera. By the way, he is not that fat by nature (though slim isn't exactly the word I'd choose either) - we had a fat-suit with the costume.
This is the improvised cave of Metusalix, the old teacher of Panoramix (the druid). In the story, Metusalix has an enormous beard which Asterix and Obelix follow to find him. As you can see, we kept true to the story.
The kids had been on hike for the entire day, it was about 3 in the afternoon as they arrived at this post. We had been waiting in a car for them to come. I had walked ahead of the children the entire hike until then, setting out the route for them. I had a bag of wool with me, putting pieces of it along the road in bushes and road signs. The story was that they were looking for the milk of the two-headed unicorn, a very rare ingredient to make the magic potion which makes the Gauls invincible twice as strong.
As the kids arrived, we hurried to the cave and dressed up Metusalix. The kids had no idea what they were in for. After answering two questions they collected the milk (which I poured into a small bottle) and brought it back with them to the campsite. Along the hike they had the chance to spend some money in the nearest large town, mostly on candt - of course - but also on postcards and souvernirs.

After the hike I got myself into a safety guard and into a tree to man the 2nd post in the obstacle course. Dave (the straight blond I toy with) manned the first post and secured the kids when they entered the last part of the parcours toward me. After they had reached me (at about 5 metres / 16,5 feet high above the ground) I switched their securing from the track to the cable lane. I helped them on the cable track and off they went. Of course I had one kid who started to scream, there always is one... She was a cubscout, one of the older ones, and was three-quarters along the rope you see between me and Dave. She said she was a little scared, I told her she was nearly there. When she was about a metre away from me, she started crying. I was like "Oh fuck". She didn't dare to go back to Dave so I struggled to get her to me. The ropes were slippery after so many kids had surpassed her and that only made things worse. She couldn't possibly fall down, after all: she was secured to the blue rope hanging beside the course she had just completed. Still the cable track seemed too much for her. The only way down, however, was that very same cable track. So she started screaming, and screaming, and screaming until I somehow managed to get her to sit, switched her security lines and had her hold the pulley with which she was to slide down. Dave even had to assist there, holding here while she tried to grasp the bands of the pulley. She went down eventually.
Unfortunately the weather went bad again after a while and it started to grow dark. After the last scout had gone down the cable track I slid down it and called it a day. The weather was generally sunny and rainy. We had periods of delightful sunshine and laid ourselves down on the grass to enjoy it, a moment later it could pour out of the sky like an enormous waterfall. I had a ball during this summer camp, I learned that my place is really with the scouts (ages 11-15) instead of the cubs (7-11), because the cubs are a far less challenge to lead and do hardly anything with scouting that I love so much.

Some core members also had a good time finding out I was really, really gay; acknowledging the rainbow flag which now suits my uniforms. One older woman really didn't know I was gay and thought I always just joked around. Poor woman... little did she know. The scoutsleaderteam missed me, they said. I guess I am the cohesive factor in the team which soothes emotions and is always atop tense situations. They admitted there was a lot more stress and bickering without me.

I love being important... ...and the first wank after camp. A week of abstinence, I shot my eye - that never happened before. What a mess! :) God I love this life. I hope you guys had a great week, I'll try to get the post on those blond hunks up somewhere this week. 'Till then! Oh, below is Julian, the BildBoy, from a German magazine which was pointed out to me by some guys. They're such sweethearts, knowing what I like. There's a nice video on the website of der Bild, with Julian during the photo shoot and with an interview in which he claims he is not a total whore - which he totally is.

Civil Engineer

2009-07-02T14:31:00.011+02:00

Hey lads. It's been a while since the last post - but I reckon you've already gotten used to that already. My internship is at an end, I've said goodbye to Royal Haskoning this week's thursday. That same day I collected my diploma, am now a civil engineer; I graduated and can move on to better things. I've already signed up for the teacher-in-English course, and will probably receive an invitation this summer. Finally I can leave this boring college behind and go for the High School of Leeuwarden, the 2nd big town up north the Netherlands. I'm really looking forward to it.

But the big issue right now is the Summer Camp. As my devout readers will know, this is pretty big and makes for lots of personally shot pictures and pages of text. I'm a scoutleader, have been for two years now, but will be a cubscoutleader for the coming camp. The cubscout leader's team has collapsed entirely this year and a commission of three men, one if which is me, has been struggling to keep the gatherings occupied with leaders and assemble an entirely new team for next year. We succeeded, so far - but not for the summer camp. So I'm jumping back in my old role of King Louie (the king of the apes in Junglebook, the theme of the cubscouts). I'm not sad about leaving the scouts for a camp, they'll be right next door and I've always enjoyed the cubs. Leader shortages are rampant among almost all scouting units across the Netherlands, so we're not alone. Still it is a huge problem if you have 24 kids eager to come to scouting, but without leaders to support them.

Besides the commission LMWB (Leader's Motivation, Recruitment & Conservation), I am in the theme commission for the theme of this summer camp. Our theme is Asterix & Obelix, you might have heard of it. It's a very lively theme, with both the young and the old. It's taken a lot of preparation - but we started early this year (immediately after the summer). Still I've been busy finishing theme objects these past weeks, spending the day in the office of Royal Haskoning and the evening at scouting. And I think I am someone who needs a lot of sleep. I always try to get at least 8 hours, but I feel like 10 is the actual minimum for me. I might be too preoccupied with anything other than sleeping at night...

Summer camp will start tomorrow, this evening we gather to load the trailers and cars. The kids arrive on Saturday, the camp lasts until friday for them - we stay 'till saturday. Unlike other years, we're going abroad with the entire group. Usually only the Explorers do that every 4 years (the scouts aged 14-18), but we've found a really beautiful place just across the border in Germany, which was more than ten times as cheap to rent than our usual Dutch camp sites. Going abroad means scouts can now wear a Dutch flag insignia on their uniforms. Talking of flags, I got myself three new badges as well:Along with a nice necklace with the gay logo on it. I felt it was time to get a little more out of my way to promote homosexuality. Not that I'm trying to convert people on a regular basis (there is this one guy...) but I think it's good if people get a face they can put on homosexuality. Let them show how shockingly 'normal' homosexual men are. Why now? Well, let's say I've grown a lot in my life perspective and can now much easier handle the stupidity of other people.

I still care for other (stupid) people, by the way - I just don't take their stupidity seriously anymore. It's been very relieving.For now I'd like to leave it with this. I already laid out my luggage for the coming week, but still need to pack it and have to check out the trousers I just bought. Let's say I have my day planned out fairly well. I'm a mess when I'm busy but have no planning - my short term memory is falling short, it has been since for ever and I sometimes forget very stupid things. Like the keys to my home...

Anyway, here are some hot guys to keep you busy through the coming week. I could make a promise of a day on which I'll post the summer camp review, but I'd rather not. I tend to sleep away an entire day after scouting camps, only starting the PC to check mail and get off. The latter is always a grand pleasure after 9 days of abstinence on camp...
It's a strange feeling that I, for the first time in my life, ran ahead of fashion. A stubble/beard (2mm max.) is totally hot right now. Fortunately for me, blonds are into this too. And I love blonds, even more with a stubble. It makes them so gorgeous, it's hard to remain decent.
P.S. There is a post under construction with all the above blonds - and many more. Evaluating what I so sincerely adore about the boys. It's going to be very NOT OFFICE SAFE. Then again, I guess the above wasn't that safe either... ...people should read the warning. Cheers for now, see you in a week or so!

Were The World Mine

2009-06-16T21:56:00.009+02:00

I can't say anything less than that I am very excited about this film. If you haven't yet, go see it - now. It's brilliant, it's artistic, it's musical and musical and musical. I love it. You need to witness it. I promise, you won't be disappointed.It's the story of a Shakespearian fairy gone wrong, embodied by the real world and its homophobia. It's the story of a young guy (Timothy) who has an eye on another (Jonathan, the one above, on the desk). The guy he is in love, Jonathan, with is your average football jock fratguy, with a team of girls that love him. Timothy, ensnared by Shakespeare's magic, creates a love potion and with it practically turns half the village he lives in gay. This, predictably, doesn't work out too well - though all ends up well. It's a great thing to watch and listen to. It has really hot guys in it, which totally make out. That alone should make you feel like you have to watch this. I could write an essay about why this film is so great, but I won't. Just watch it. It's vibrant with life and love and excitement.
I might not be supposed to tempt you, but I've put a link up in the sidebar to the library of RapidShare, you could try and find the movie there...

Parallel Post Notification

2009-06-12T16:27:00.002+02:00

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[PARALLEL POST NOTIFICATION: "The authority of reality"]

http://philosophybyme.blogspot.com/2009/06/authority-of-reality.html

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And another one to get you through the weekend...

The authority of reality.

2009-06-12T15:56:00.000+02:00

There are only two worlds, the real world, and the world that is not real. The first is the same for everyone, it is called reality and it is commonly accepted to be actually there. Mainly this is established because reality is inherently the same to everyone, though some people deny this for reasons coming from something that is not real - the other world.

In essence, everything that is not real, doesn't exist in reality. This is quite a key notion, and I believe it is quite sturdy. Of course the term "real" might raise some questions, but let's say everything that is real is that which is found in reality. This immediately counts out the divine.

Obviously a Deity is not real. It has never been witnessed, not even its actions; and every realist would agree that it is improbable that a Deity exists. For two simple reasons:

1. We have no idea what a Deity is.

2. The vague hint that we do have is completely incompatible with what we've already established to be real.

The only way a Deity can exist, is if we completely review the term, get rid of its divinity and superpowers and reapply the name to a plant which is currently known as Coffea Arabica. Not only would this eliminate a lot of the bickering over the largest nonsense in the world, it would turn something stupid into something delicious. Like the term gay turned from overjoyful to applying to homosexual males.

Perhaps I should point out a few arguments to support my two "simple reasons"...

First of all, the definition of God: (Deity refers to God, hence I supply you God)

God (MAKER)
noun [S not after the]
(in especially Christian, Jewish and Muslim belief) the being which made the universe, the Earth and its people and is believed to have an effect on all things:
Do you believe in God?
god (SPIRIT)
noun [C]
1 a spirit or being believed to control some part of the universe or life and often worshipped for doing so, or a representation of this spirit or being:
the ancient Greek gods and goddesses
See also the gods.
2 someone who is very important to you, whom you admire very much, and who greatly influences you:
His most devoted fans think of Elvis Presley as a sort of god.

Uncommunicated courtesy of http://dictionary.cambridge.org/

This is all terribly vague and all boils down to some superbeing with superpowers which is somewhere but ultimately has never been discovered. Especially going into individual details (there are multiple Gods, according to some) the different versions of God tend to disagree with eachother, and are sometimes by definition mutually exclusive. This is especially true when someone gets the numbers wrong, a person who believes in one God and a person who believes in several hundred Gods are unlikely to agree on any Deistic matter.

In the end it is truly preposterous to see people bickering over different Deities, while its all the same gotten-out-of-hand mind experiment. (<- understatement of the year)

The second point is that all we know of reality is compatible with eachother or at least makes some sense when sided with another theory of what appears to be real. In debating what is true or not (or what is real or not), it is comforting to be certain that something is either true or not. Of course, when debating Deities, this is not the case - since neither part has any real evidence to back up a statement, it turns to a childish yes-no arguing. Deists usually settle this with the phrase "I guess it all boils down to faith" which translates to realist-language as "well this is getting nowhere, I give up trying to convert you". The nice thing about spirituality, Deism as I've called it throughout this post, is that you'r never wrong. I've really enjoyed every minute of practicing Deism since I first touched His Noodley Appendage, and got saved as a born-again Pastafarian. It felt so, well, superior.

Unfortunately the realization came a bit too soon that I was equally right as every other Deist, which - taking in the theory that something is either true or not true, that I was equally wrong as everybody else.

My point is that if something is not real, or related to reality (like scientific theory, derived from observing and testing reality), it does not exist in the real world. Sure a billion and more things could exist in the imagination or actually be courant in a person's regular thought - but that doesn't make them "real". Religion, the scientific theory of Deists, is not real, and therefore should not have any authority in reality. A key notion in philosophy is that mind-experiments are kept inside the mind - like a chemist does not take his experimental material outside the laboratory. The only way you can let experiments see the light of day safely, is by writing it down. More people should understand this.

Parallel Post Notification

2009-06-11T17:27:00.003+02:00

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[PARALLEL POST NOTIFICATION: "Blaming the individual"]

http://philosophybyme.blogspot.com/2009/06/blaming-individual.html

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And look what I found; ...isn't he gorgeous...

Dutchism (formerly: philosophy by me)

Take 2

Freedom of information

Christopher Hitchens

Arcomo

How to inhabit a planet

*laughs* (personal update)

Baflo is upset

Revision of the UDHR

Remember this guy?

Outcome provincial elections (and senate)

Groningen (opkomst: 58%)

Removing something at birth

Ur-Spo's Past Year Evaluation List

Two movies

Melinda

Glee is the real Obama

Pale Horses

Class representative & mr. Right

Stuff and Ryan Carnes

How fragile we are

Getting fucked

Cleaning up

When it does hit you

First Aid Funeral

Money trouble

Robbed, Summercamp, etc.

Eat da PooPoo

2010 election outcome

Quickie

Update

Parent Politics

The worst thing

Mormons

Hip Hop Netherlands 2010

Congress of Integrative Psychiatry

Bloody hell

The Essence of Free Information

Obama's Nobel Prize

Ryan Doyle

200th post!

Reproducing

Cucumber

Parallel Post Notification

Conformity

Uganda

Homeless people

Monotheism

HBO-V?

HSP, me!?

Holiday on Ice

A letter to the future

Pizza Boy

New Rules

Jesus Camp

Bless me father

In love with a dad

DelfSail 2009

Religulous

Freddie Stroma

Summer Camp ('09)

Civil Engineer

Were The World Mine

Parallel Post Notification

The authority of reality.

Parallel Post Notification

laughs (personal update)